there’s a lady
who’s sure that
all that glitters
is gold...

she’s buying
a stairway
to heaven.

perpetual motion
or
perpetual sadness ?

can't do anything right
but
can't seem to do anything wrong.

and so it goes,
and so it goes,
forever and ever;
amen.

"organized chaos":

- procrastination
- bursts of crazy motivation
- episodes of hey arnold at night
- being lonely
- getting to the bottom of "it" only to realize it's the same bottom i've been getting to for awhile now
- breaking down
- picking back up
- creating a library/studio space
- affection to/for the hedgehog
- acid reflux
- cooking again
- not ( Read more... )

my life in terms of the past two weeks or so:

- not sleeping for days at a time

- taking two days to just sleep and do nothing else

- talking about playing videogames but never actually playing them

- liking my new living arrangement even though it causes me to be super messy as i have like zero room to get ready

- dancing to animal collective ( ( Read more... )

all i want to do is be in my bed. i took the sheets off yesterday, two days ago, a lifetime ago; and can't seem to get the motivation to put them back on.

they're fresh and clean
and no matter how much i shower i cant help but feel like i am:
stained, faded, and gritty.

i'm so tired -
so tired of being tired
so tired of sleeping all the time.

i can feel the pressure rebuilding up in my spine again ( Read more... )

is this withdrawl ( Read more... )

if postcards actually allowed a person to be,
this is what i would say:

"i laid in the grass
on a stolen sheet from my rented bed
drank in the sun and listened to the children calling out in a language i once knew

"hola osos !"
(if you say this and wave, they wave back)

i am thinking of a number ....
i am thinking of a time when all i was concerned with ( Read more... )

"relapse or reality check ( Read more... )

i carry everything in my spine ( Read more... )