Letters are written...Never meaning to send...

[_kallista_]

I came across two letters I had written to Jody and saved to my computer. You know, the letters you write more in an attempt to understand yourself than to actually send to the person they are written to. I may have posted one or both of them here on my journal, but I am posting them again. Do you think I should send them to him?

Comments

[jaidakat]

the 2nd one is me to a T. (sigh) I debate on that one being sent... i mean, its full guts how you feel - specially if you really didnt plan to send it. but, i dunno where it would get you (or me for that matter if I wrote one). I wish i had better suggestions to offer... yer like my mirrored-self (hugs).. maybe we can force each other sane again!

[_kallista_]

For some reason it seems that I can help you, but not myself...and vice versa. Quite frustrating at times. I'm still debating. I have been going back and forth on it all day. I wasn't feeling well earlier today and I tried to lay down but that didn't work either. I thought some while in the shower, though, and I'm not sure I want to send them to him. Is one of those things where I want him to either be a part of my life or vanish completely from my life...I know you understand. *hugs*

[lilithraevyn]

Imagine for one moment that I was posting what you just posted. What advice would you give me? Should I send such a letter, baring every bit of myself?

Then also consider - where are you in your relationship with him now. Would these letters be appropriate to your situation? Would they help things, or just make them awkward?

I wish I could just give you a yes or a no.

[_kallista_]

Your advice is my favorite so far. If it were you or anyone posting the letters and asking whether they should send them, I would more than likely respond in the same way that you did.

Will they help or hinder the situation? I don't know because...

Where are you in your relationship? ...I don't know.

There are a lot of ifs right now, and I am figuring that they will clear themselves when the time is right. The letters, I feel, should wait for another day...If such a day comes to be. The whole situation is very wobbly right now, and I am unsure as to whether the letters would destroy what is left, or perhaps reinitiate what was. Things are too iffy to take the chance. I will wait, watch, feel, and I'll know in my heart when the time is right. And when/if I do give them to him, I will note for him the dates they were written so that he can see how I felt all along even though I may have fought it.

Thank you, hun, for your input. :-)

[lilithraevyn]

*hugs*