Last night we put my dog Kirby down. He was 12 years old, and he'd been sick for a while. He had end stage kidney failure and suspected lymphoma, and he was having trouble with his back. we were going to do it last week but he suddenly got better, started eating again, and was my usual happy cute puppy. suddenly yesterday he started throwing up and ( Read more... )

I haven't been updating at all!!! lots of stuff is going on, mainly i was finishing my thesis, which i got an A on (phew) and writing exams. all went well, i have officially become a chemical engineer. then i went to florida for a week with josh to see my parents and had a great time. i relaxed and read and did nothing and we both had an awesome ( Read more... )

158 today ( Read more... )

josh and i broke up ( Read more... )

last night i binged, with a level of insanity i haven't felt in a while. i was feeling confused and empty after a series of events led to josh and i spending more nights apart and me sleeping at home alone for the first friday night that he's been here since pretty much the start of our relationship. we're making so many efforts to still get the ( Read more... )

i'm so bad with the updating, probably because i really have nothing interesting to say ( Read more... )

the past 2 days have been the longest days of my life. i keep flip-flopping back and forth between knowing in my heart that i'm too scarred and unhappy about the past month to make my relationship work now and hating myself for even thinking of leaving love like this. i know that my constant crying and moping isn't a result of the immediate ( Read more... )

so while i was away it seems i gained a bunch of weight, and now i am at 156.5, not the happy 153 that the scale in vancouver said i was. i feel like i'm making no progress at all and that sucks. hopefully now that i'm back i can start losing again ( Read more... )

i feel kinda bad about disappearing for so long after deciding to post regularly again, but i had little computer access and during the times i did the last thing i wanted to do was sit online and write. i am freshly back from vancouver, and am such a mess of emotion that i feel like i'm going to explode ( Read more... )

i don't know how this is happening, but i know it's gonna stop soon. wish it wasn't, i wish i could be immediately rewarded by my renewed effort with a return to my rightful size ( Read more... )