i'll take a brief interruption from my disturbing schedule to shout a holler. its funny, i was reading my old diary about a week ago and i realized how much i changed. Not only my grammar/word usage but also the kind of person i've become and the mental/emotional/physical stability that i've maintained. i was angry. i was unsettled. and there was ( Read more... )

i was reading an old diary of mine-as if i abandon this one enough, i usually keep a paper diary as well, well...i used to. not so much anymore. but anyway, i used to write-and i have a notebook since 6th grade (that i still have anyway) detailing each thought and whim. anyway-i was reading when i was just just starting to talk to my ex, that ( Read more... )

i know i suck at posting but i just been busy with life right now. mucho apologies. I write today because i am so sad at the nature of things. While usually I go about my day as a complete asshole, dishing out hatred without abandon (its all lighthearted, hatred...? yeah..that doesn't make any sense. hm.), i sit here and think about all the ugly ( Read more... )

i promise i will write an update soon, life's just been hectic is all.
i have an internship. its fabulous. im going to all kinds of swank events, im writing, im meeting new people, and it's amazing. i have this wonderful opportunity, and i think just writing it out right now makes me realize it for the first time. im able to galavant with models, ( Read more... )

My new boyfriend loves me, bBut I still cannot seem to get the annoying aftertaste of my Ex out of my mouth. And no, I do not mean that quite literally, because at this time I have stayed far and far away. Him and his penis has not been near my throat, or the rest of my body. I don't know if I am still in love with him, but I do know that I will ( Read more... )

how much does anderson cooper rock??

his utter cooper-ness, stimulates this inexplicable curiosity, interest, in me, that amuses me more so than the interest itself. so did not know he was a vanderbilt though. but his whole "put-put" on the whole thing makes him even more desirable. oh my.

...real entry later. promise

you ever feel like you want something so bad..something so incredible that you know would make you live your life just a little bit differently? then having said something taken away? although it wasnt really taken away because it was never yours to begin with, but still, the very promise of it just faded, and the fact that it isnt yours burns ( Read more... )

to say that im pretty fucked up right now would be a starting point. yeah i had a more cohesive update but i dunno, i cant think in an organized way right now. im tired of complicated nonsense. im tired of the stupid people making stupid mistakes. im tired of hearing bullshit and having to smile and nod. im tired of pretending everythings ok. im ( Read more... )

i was on break, and now im back (hold the applause).
sigh...no drunken cancun tales (sorry guys) but i have a mondo update. soon. promise?
hope everyones doing well.

i love it when i ask my friends to do things for me (like accompany me places) its always such a hassle. like, sorry i cant do this because i suck at life-meanwhile, yes you guessed it...ive done the same, if not more so for them. i hate the incompetence. i hate the one sidedness. its all the time, im not just bitching. i need new friends, because ( Read more... )