July Week 2

[_lippie_]

Thanks to everyone who voted for my entry last week.  Here's Week Two: "It hurts when I do this."

We Wove the Dream
Summary.  The poor narrator suffers from overly dramatic writer's block.  First person POV.  Nonfiction.

We Wove the Dream

It hurts when I do this, when I sit here and stare at the glowing screen, when my fingers fall upon the keyboard in

Comments

[aisling87]

*sigh* Ah yes. I've been there all too often. I really like your last line.

[0_dizzynoise_0]

Hmmm.... can we not be in the same group....
This was awesome!

[intermezzo_poet]

Oh, writer's block... kudos on writing about something relatable to everyone here. :)

Nice work!

[_lippie_]

Thanks guys :]

edit time!

[lacruciverbiste]

soo i'm really glad i get to edit your piece! you're awfully popular on here.

1. " brightly colored dreams in which there is bravery, in which there is love, in which there is beauty." slightly awkward. maybe try just "brightly colored dreams of bravery, love, beauty."

2. That's all I got. A nice short yet detailed and intricate piece. However, it stressed me out because it was so real to the writing experience. it had a nice flow to it and I was never pulled out of it for any reason.

Keep up the good work.

Re: edit time!

[_lippie_]

Hm, I think you may be right about that phrase. Let me play with it a bit and see if I can get the correct feeling across...

Thanks much for the helpful feedback! :]