Career students vs. family planning

[mikaboo]

My husband and I have been married almost two years, and we are both in undergraduate programs. Since we are not the typical age for undergrads (I'm 28 and he's 34), we will have the difficult task of deciding when is the "least inconvenient" time to start a family. My husband will finish his BSc in Computer Science at the end of next year, however

Comments

[away_she_flew]

We are a bit younger than you (I'm 26 and he's 24) but we have made the decision to wait to have kids before a few things happen: I would like to own a home and he wants to get his masters. We've only been married about a month and a half, so we have a couple years before both of us would really like to talk seriously about having kids. Ideally for us, we will be out of school before having kids because he'll have to work and go to school so we want to have time for the kids. But that's our opinion...I don't have any issues with people who have kids while in school. Just wanted to make that clear too :)

[meximanian]

I am hoping to be a public defender (stupid hiring freezes). But I've been interning w/them for a while now as a law student so I get to go back to the holding cells and jails.

You really have to learn to compartmentalize your work. What they do/say does not bother me. I try to feel empathy but not sympathy for their situation. I definitely don't let them think I fear them or act scared in any way. If other people say things to me I completely ignore it because I realize their verbal abuse comes from a lack of control in their life and they are trying to gain it back, but I refuse to let them use me for that.

But I also do this for cat calls in the street, just completely ignore it and don't even get upset because it's not worth it.

[leeshers]

What kind of work are you planning on doing? I do a lot of therapy work with drug addicts and people with psychosis and though they have a reputation as being violent, in general that has not been my experience.

[mikaboo]

I'm undecided on the specifics of the area I want to work in, but when I mean violent offenders I mean those who are in jail and likely not eligible for parole. My main interest is serial killers, but I haven't figured out a way to make that a career goal yet.

[mikaboo]

but I haven't figured out a way to make the **study of serial killers** a career goal yet.

That might be a better wording.

[leeshers]

Yes gotcha, different ball game. I agree witth the previous posters then, go low on the jelwrey, tight to the head on the hair and clothing that is easy to move in, but that doesnt empasis things. Also, no heals, or only heals that have some sort of strap so they stay on.

[leeshers]

Oh as to your question, I think it depends on the type and level of your university/grad program. I did my masters in MFT and my sister is doing a PHd in developmental psych. No kids, but as I watch my sister, I dont know if anyone could have young kids in that program. Their lives revolve around research and their thesis, I dont know how you would do anything else. Mine I could have, but frankly I was working full time and going to school full time. I dont know that I would have felt I could give the time and attention any of thoes things needed if I had children during school. My focus was so split as it was, and I was so sleep deprived, I dont know how people do it, but some do.

[kort_ni]

I am in the 3rd year of my PhD program and right now we are planning to start TTC in August so that I will be pregnant next school year, give birth in the summer and have an infant while writing my dissertation. I turn 29 next week and we didn't want to wait until after my post doc to start a family, so this was the timing that we have worked out (but you know, the best laid plans...it might not work out like this timing wise, but as long as I get pregnant in August at the earliest, I will be ABD when the baby is born).