I've alluded to this issue in previous posts, and you've all been very helpful. Here's the current situation and I'd appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions
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Yeah, it's hard when you're in an uncomfortable situation to say something witty, without sounding hateful, that conveys how you feel. I'll think on it :)
In general regardless of whether or not your feelings are valid, your fiance should respect that you do feel a certain way. It's not a question of who is right and who is wrong, but a question of him being respectful of your personal boundaries. I also don't think you are ever going to hear, "her behavior was off and I didn't appreciate it either," because he obviously doesn't see it as a problem
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Seconded. I am very much not a touchy feely person, and people who need to be up close make me uncomfortable. Most of those people, though, will take it well if you explain it to them nicely, that it's not them per say, it's more about your comfort levels.
I was considering speaking to her directly, since my fiance doesn't have a problem with it and doesn't feel a need to act differently. At this point with this case he seems frustrated by me and just unwilling to hang out with these people anymore because of me. If I do get the opportunity to meet her again I would like to mention it, but you know what? She's not going to be a great friend and she doesn't seem like a quality person, so part of me is just fine with never seeing her again, and being prepared in the future for other similar people. Thank you for the comment; we may indeed encounter someone who would react with "I wish someone had said something!" but she doesn't seem like that kind of chick.
...wrap your arm around your HTB's neck and finish your part by whispering in his ear, and do it often.
This is exactly the kind of behavior I'd like to learn. I'm just... not "smart" in terms of behavior that bothers me and what to do. Unfortunately I am too honest and my displeasure is evident; I can't play the game where I am being coy and sending a message to this woman. I need to work on that instead of just becoming upset and taking it out on my fiance. I initially was so angry at him for allowing it to happen, but I need to accept him and focus on how to deal with her. Thanks.
She is American. The way I've reasoned it in my head... she's recently divorced and not too bright. All she has going for her is a decent body, and she thinks the best way to get someone's attention, especially men, is not with great conversation but by touching them. She might thinks it keeps them engaged and interested.
I will have to come up with a joke, maybe "with those big boobs you probably don't have to touch people so much to get their attention, right?"
I doubt my husband would be able to handle that the way your husband has. He isn't a touchy feely person to other women and I would tink that would annoy him if some females he works with pulls some bullshit like that. If I were there, I wouldn't handle it nearly as well as you would. That is very calm of you. I'm protective and am quick to be a bitch had I been in that situation.
I do agree that I wouldn't want to be the reason we all/they can't hang out anymore. But if we did hang out again, I would put myself in the middle of my husband and that bitch. And if it kept happening, I'd probably comment to her that she is really touchy feely with my husband.
I'm protective and am quick to be a bitch had I been in that situation.
See... unfortunately I was bitchy, but only towards my fiance afterwards, wondering why he didn't do anything to stop her and just let her do that. However, he's since explained his way to deal with it was not to reciprocate her actions, and I am growing up and trying to realize I need to be on his side and deal with this situation through her, not him. If we do hang out again I will have to say something, make a joke, or redirect her annoying behavior back to her. Grabbing someone's face and saying they're cute... that would mess up her layers of makeup and likely upset her :) Thanks for the response.
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This is exactly the kind of behavior I'd like to learn. I'm just... not "smart" in terms of behavior that bothers me and what to do. Unfortunately I am too honest and my displeasure is evident; I can't play the game where I am being coy and sending a message to this woman. I need to work on that instead of just becoming upset and taking it out on my fiance. I initially was so angry at him for allowing it to happen, but I need to accept him and focus on how to deal with her. Thanks.
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(The comment has been removed)
I will have to come up with a joke, maybe "with those big boobs you probably don't have to touch people so much to get their attention, right?"
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I do agree that I wouldn't want to be the reason we all/they can't hang out anymore. But if we did hang out again, I would put myself in the middle of my husband and that bitch. And if it kept happening, I'd probably comment to her that she is really touchy feely with my husband.
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See... unfortunately I was bitchy, but only towards my fiance afterwards, wondering why he didn't do anything to stop her and just let her do that. However, he's since explained his way to deal with it was not to reciprocate her actions, and I am growing up and trying to realize I need to be on his side and deal with this situation through her, not him. If we do hang out again I will have to say something, make a joke, or redirect her annoying behavior back to her. Grabbing someone's face and saying they're cute... that would mess up her layers of makeup and likely upset her :) Thanks for the response.
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