The almighty fishing weekend

[purpleangelz]

This isn't necessarily a huge problem per se, but something I'm a bit miffed about, and I'm looking for opinions as to whether I'm being unreasonable.

My husband is an avid fisherman, and every year, he goes on several fishing trips with his buddy. There is one weekend in particular which seems to be the "sacred boys wekend", which falls on the May

Comments

[perfectinpart]

Honestly, I'd probably be a bit miffed too. But maybe you can ask him to take you on a date night next weekend (not this long-weekend, but the one after)? It wouldn't have to be an all-day thing, so he could still do the things he wants to do during the day.

I'd guess that the "sacred boys weekend" is one thing he loves doing and I wouldn't really hold it against him. He doesn't get a chance to hang out with his buddy as often as he gets to hang out with you, and that's a time that's really special for him. If my best girl friend who lives faaaar away came to visit for one weekend, I'd drop all plans with my husband to see her. It's not that my husband is less important or that I don't value my time with him, it's that I don't get to see my friend very often. Gotta take advantage of her presence before she leaves again.

If it's only once a year, I would try and let it go. Maybe remind yourself of this next year and don't make any plans (or make plans that are just for you so you have something to look forward to on your own).

[purpleangelz]

Thanks for the understanding. :)

His friend's parents live in our area, so he does make it back quite a few times to visit, and they go on impromptu fishing trips quite often, but this weekend is definitely the "big" one. I completely understand how important it is to him, which is why I try to overlook being blown off, but I guess what ticks me off the most is that both years, my husband is the one who made the plans, only to turn around and cancel them.

Next year I'm definitely going to just plan my own deal and let him figure out his plans for himself. ;)

[kibbles]

You solved your own problem.

Start pampering the weekends he goes fishing.

[purpleangelz]

I think that's what bugs me the most. I can handle it once but I just don't want him to make a habit of it. I think he should either tell me to assume he's going and not make any plans, or make plans and stick with them!

[mooie_ziel]

[purpleangelz]

Yeah I'm learning the childhood friends are tricky. :-/ His friend is practically idolizied, because my husband has all these crazy memories from being young and they spend every year trying to relive that.

I actually really like this particular friend and I'm impressed they've managed to stay good friends all this time, so I try to just let it go. I think I do need to mention it to my husband though in a way that doesn't seem like I'm threatening their time together. It's so much easier to put it in writing than to say it!

[mooie_ziel]

[jennofavalon]

i would hope he would honor and respect plans and spending time with me just as much has he honors and respects his friend time.

I dont think you are wrong for being miffed I do think that he needs to hear your side and your feelings without turning it into a fight. i think he just needs to be more concious about his decisions.

good luck!

[merlyn4401]

*shrug* If one of my best girlfriends came in from out of state, I'd drop all plans with my husband, too. And we're rescheduled plans before when my husband has the opportunity to get with one of his old friends who might be traveling through.

I think it's just a difference in expectations, maybe? He probably feels like he only sees this friend once a year, and apparently it has to be whenever said friend can get awy for a few days. I think it's reasonable to drop plans and reschedule with you when it's once a year. If ot was every week, that'd be a totally different story. Maybe you can be gracious about this weekend with his buddy, as long as he promises to make it up to you by spending a weekend with you doing fun stuff as well.

[the_karen_show]

i'm in this boat. i would drop plans for the chance to see someone i only see once a year.

[purpleangelz]

I forgot to mention in my original post that they see each other more than once a year, but this opening weekend fishing trip just happens to be the yearly "extravanaganza." LOL. If he was to only see the friend once a year, I would completely understand, as you don't want to pass up an opporunity like that.

That's a good idea though, I may just tell him that I'm up for a hot date next weekend. :)