I've been feeling a large portion of nothingness lately. I dunno why. I don't recall casting anything lately. It's not that I am being a braggart in regards to such things, it is just that I honest about my spiritual preference for the most part. I mean, it's like I experience the emotion of the moment, but for the most part, I'm just....I ( Read more... )

Got back from Cali sometime last week. I am not too sure what to think/say/feel/do. I'm not too sure about what the future will hold, and my part in it. I've heard thoughts about how you aren't anybody special, etc etc etc. I'm not sure if that is what I can deal with. All I know at this point is that in less than a month I will be attending ( Read more... )

I'm joining the Army Reserve. I leave for basic on Apr 11. 17 weeks and two days till I get back. It's just something I feel I have to do.

Okay, Well, I'm back in the working world. I am now a server at Denny's again. Heh.....I'm still not too sure on what to make of that. Uhm....What else, got pulled over today, so I need to take care of stuff. And as of right now, it would be really nice if this manifestation whatnot would work for powerball. Okay, lemme change that...never ( Read more... )

An interesting thing/prospect. I always viewed my not being able to say anything with grrness. But I know that I can say whatever the hell I want. I honestly just don't like making those I care about angry. Because When people get angry, they usually stop listening, or, well, I guess stop listening and/or think of some snide comment to say. I ( Read more... )

In the past two days I've slept about three hours. Updates: Still on an unexpected break from the working world. So I decided to sign a portion of my life away and applied at Denny's. Yeah, I know. Uhm...oh yeah, yatta yatta, world still full of dramatic double sided hypocritical bullshit which as much as people would like me to open up, I'm ( Read more... )

You read certain things, maybe read too much into them, but it honestly hurts. I'm taking another vacation. I'm tired of bullshit, drama, double standards and hypocrisy. I'm just tired. To the world, have fun deluding yourselves.

Here is an update. On Friday, I got laid off, found out my grandfather is in the hospital, and last night just about cried myself to sleep. There is so much that I feel I could vent on right now. But even in my own fucking journals/blogs, I don't have the luxury of freedom of speech. "because it's not really any of their business", great, so I ( Read more... )

Tomarrow is the ninth of December 2006. This marks the five year anniversary of when my brother Matthew died...dammit.

I wish I had the luxury of free speech. But due to courtesy, I honestly don't. It is my choice and I know this. But in my opinion, my choice to express what is on my mind may be more of a price than I am willing to pay. I would rather just be a person that is there to listen, and offer advice if it is needed. I think I should feel angry at ( Read more... )