I have no anger left anymore. No real bitterness, no harbored ill-will. I guess I'm just saying this to say it, as the last time I'll need to use this thing to say....anything. I am ok. Probably 98%. Already, everything seems so very long ago, so very far in the past. Almost impossible. I'm trying to picture February, March, April...those beautiful ( Read more... )

Nothing in the world compares to this, for me. All the small fights, miniscule spats and tiny arguments that have broken out between my friends and I over the years absolutely pale in comparison to this. In almost twenty years of life, nobody has ever done anything quite so horrible to me. Nobody's done anything to even come close to this horrible ( Read more... )

I was asleep. See, I thought...however many months ago, that then was when I woke up. That someone threw cold water on me and suddenly everything got made real, the haze disappeared from my until-then dream. It's probably true, but I imagine sometime afterwards I just fell back asleep. I imagine that first time...being suddenly thrust into the ( Read more... )

 So....epic heartbreak. Ouch.

Like ripping off a bandaid?

So I know nobody reads these damn things anymore, which is all the better, because I really just need some emo highschoolish venting. I don't care that I'm 19 and therefore should handle things like an adult. I've been trying that, and all it does is make me crazy. So instead of keeping it all inside, or talking to the people who are killing me, I ( Read more... )

No. You know what, I am going to be just fine.

If I want to be a principal hornist in some famous orchestra, damnit I'm going to practice till my lips swell.
If I want to go to UW for graduate school, I'm going to take out loans and move to Seattle. 
If I want to be a librarian, I'm going to, and I'm not even going to care when people laugh. 
If I ( Read more... )

Did I seriously just wait for the longest day of the year and then miss it?

I did, didn't I.

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
I ( Read more... )

How did my life get filled with people (namely males..) I love and hate simultaneously? People I respect, who make me laugh, who are brilliant. I am drawn to and repulsed by them at the same time. I'd like to say that going to college, I will escape them and start again, but I have a feeling my personality just attracts those types. I will always ( Read more... )