I think I have just encountered the creepiest stalker-type person I have ever encountered here on LJ. Look, if you're a stalker...don't describe your creepy dreams about being the object of your affection and doing something with or to one of the other objects of your affection, ok? And don't...Just don't ( Read more... )

You know what's closest to my heart?

My lungs.

That's why I won't quit smoking. The tar is the only thing holding those muscles together.

Jeez, you sleep in a little and you miss all the fun ( Read more... )

Alright, alright, I'm here. Sound the fanfare.

Now. Which way to the bar?