(Untitled)
After the funeral, I asked Madsen and Arianna to come back to my apartment. I wasn't surprised when they didn't like the idea. I couldn't blame either of them for not wanting to be around me after everything that had happened, but I told them it was important and they agreed to stop by
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Ryan stayed with Arianna, since they've been pretty cool for a while now. It was weird though dude, I was totally surprised the guys came at all. It was cool that they did though. Arianna got a few other people that were kinda close to Sammy to show too.
Afterwards, we all kinda split up. The guys went back to their hotels, me and Arianna decided we were gonna hang with them later. I'm still trying to figure out what Carly wanted us to come back to the appartment for, and I dude I so wasn't sure I even wanted to go, but I went anyway. Took a lot of covincing to get Arianna to show with me.
"Hey guys."I watched Jake and Alex come in, staying next to Arianna, who totally looked ready to bolt. I tried to tell her it was cool without actually ( ... )
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I don't hate her. Close, but not quite. I understand some of it, because I've been around it since I was little. So I don't hate her. But I'm so angry with her, and I know I'm never going to forgive her. I'm bloody well entitled not to forgive her.
"Hey guys."
Jake and Alex are here too. She probably has them here for backup for whatever she's going to say to us. I can't stand that. I want to get the hell out of here, now.
"I know you're all probably sick of me right now."I think we can put that under 'mild understatement'. And I think I want to hit her. I've been hitting things and killing things as often as I can ever since this whole business started, and I still don't ( ... )
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"You could call it that."
It is, but I didn't want to call it that. I would have sounded crazy if I had called it that. The looks I'm getting tell me that they pretty much think I'm out of my mind anyway. I shouldn't care what they think of me, but this time I have to. If they think I'm being irrational, they'll try to convince me that I didn't think this through.
I did. I weighed the risks and realized that I don't have anything left to lose. No matter what happens, this spell isn't going to make my life any worse, it's already as bad as it's going to get. Knowing that things are that bad motivates me, and maybe it shouldn't. All I know is that either we try this, or we accept that Sam's not coming back. I can't do the latter. Not yet.
If they don't want me to try this, I'll do it without them.
"Could we actually do this?""Yeah ( ... )
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Oh dear God, that's the last I want to hear out of her. 'If we all set our minds to'.. oh please. That's over optimism for you, I suppose. She's taking whatever she can get, and I don't blame her at all, but that doesn't mean she actually knows what she's doing.
"I don't want to hear anything about setting our minds to it." I think I'm considerably being nice about this, considering the bloody stakes here, which I really doubt is actually entering Carly's head here.
"I want to know if we can actually do it."
I probably sound bitchier than I mean to be, but I consider it justified. "Look, I'm not the expert, I'm sure I've got no reason to say anything at all, but I know enough to at least voice a concern on what you're thinking." And if anyone, and I do mean anyone says that I don't want Sam back because of what I'm saying ( ... )
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