posting here is cathartic, no one will read this and i'll still be able to get it out ( Read more... )

im not sure why, but today was a hard day. so fucking hard.

its one of those days. one of those days when you just feel so incredibly lonely. like nothing could make you not feel lonely. its been raining all day. i did laundry at the laundromat. i watched as the rain dripped from the top of the window to the bottom. so much has happened. one of my friends got married to her boyfriend of almost a decade. one ( Read more... )

all i keep doing is making a huge fucking moron out of myself in public.

i want someone to write about me some day, and i want to know about it. i want them to talk about how the sun reflects on my hair. or the beauty marks on my shoulders. or the way after i drink from a glass i have to lick away whats left on my top lip. or how i touch my forehead four times before i start to cry. or how no matter how many times i try ( Read more... )

its funny what two weeks can do. and its funny how happy i am. it really is.

i always run back to you when things are bad. i know no one reads this anymore. maybe someone. i just need one person to read this ( Read more... )

im not happy. at all. not even a little bit and it is very tiresome pretending to be.

things are hardly falling into place or feel right. i cant find an apartment for september. there is a rift between my best friend and i. im struggling to figure myself out. i have never felt closer to being this lonely before. sometimes i feel like the only answer to how lethargic i am is to drink myself to death. there is so much i hate right now ( Read more... )

wow sometimes i just want to go back to being like a child and scream and cry and tell my mother how much i really dislike her 90% of the time.