This is my last entry. I've been thinking for a long time about starting a new life. I tried so many different things, some worked and some didn't. I think I've figured out the problem, and it's the hardest thing to change. It's the people that I'm spending my time with. Yes, I mean most of you. Not all of you, but most of you. I've always noticed ( Read more... )

OK...From now on, I will never hold myself back ever again. I always did so before for the benefit of others, but no more. I'm letting myself, mind and spirit, enter fully into this world. Whether it's ready for me or not, because I'm ready. It's time. Sayeed kicked me out of his place that I helped him earn over some stupid bullshit and ( Read more... )

I don't even know where to start. I just cashed my paycheck and my dad took it all for my car payment. I'm about to drive to concord and work a closing shift. I won't have enough gas to get back to antioch. I have just enough money stashed away for food. I'm going to buy a tin of tobacco and a half-gallon of cheap vodka and make it last as long as ( Read more... )

...but what's the point? Would you understand, or care? You wouldn't.

I was going to update and post how things are. Some good shit, some bad shit, some worse shit and some trippy shit. Then I remembered that nobody really cares about anyone else's feelings but their own and even worse, people seem to act like I'm not even supposed to have any at all. Fuck this.

I don't know what to do anymore, but nothing seems worthwhile anymore. The happier I get about something, the harder it lets me down. Sometimes, I can't believe how fucked up life can be. Then I realize that that's how my life has been. Fuck livejournal...I'm going to go do drugs and drive around. Call me if you don't plan on pissing me off today.

Just got back from hanging out with my ex. I poured my heart out to her, but she didn't give a fuck. She's fucking pregnant again too. She would rather be a slut than have someone who truly cared about her. I'm seriously tired of this shit. I just don't know what the problem is. I know that it is not my looks or anything, and I feel that nobody ( Read more... )

Got home late last night. I didn't want to go to Riverside at first, but now I'm glad that I did. I learned a lot about my family history, which was hella cool. I learned that back in the day, the Corselli family was hella OG. Like kicking it with Frank Sinatra, the OG of OG's. It's really given me a different view on myself and who I am. I need to ( Read more... )

Fucking cops came to my house at 4AM, accusing me and my friends of doing something that we didn't do. The incident occured as I was being picked up from my house. My own parents remember that I left at that time, but both them and the cops don't beleive me. I'm going to have to try and remember how I was in two places last night then. My dad then ( Read more... )

OK, so this morning I did way too much drugs/drinking and thought I was going to die. At least that didn't happen. I think not dying was the best part of my day. Woke up and my dad wasn't home. That was weak because he said he would take me to apply for jobs today. Carlos called me so we could finish the work we started in his back yard yesterday ( Read more... )