I friended you, grandpa, so now you post whatever you want, because you are hot. It was just Nicole Richie being a bitch again. She is just jealous, naturally. Cause, I'm hot. That's hot.
you shore is, lil miss!! but being married to the myopic and dishpan-handed Hesta that is Aunt Grandma, mah only regret as applies to you is that Ah could have had me a piece o' that lovely and aromatic pie you baked in the first season. But you pranced upon it with your graceful and elegant foot. Le sigh.
Hi, I am Ted Hughes. I just came back from the dead. I write poetry and have alot of sex with other poets. Can I friend you? I like old people, although you do talk funny.
would make me right tickled if you'd friend me. Ah see that you take exception with mah country diction and expression, but Ah never had the benefits gittin larned up in no college, though from yer statement, sir, Ah wish Ah had --before Ah married the tender plumpness of Aunt Grandpa of course-- 'cause it sounds like it leads to a lot of boot knockin', to which Ah was never adverse.
But in the Great Depression, times was scarce, years was fewer, and if'n we had any spare scratch, it went fer gas money in the International Harvester (which Ah am still proudly driving these many years hence), shotgun shell so's we could eat us some white tail, and mash fer Boilin' Betty, our mainstay and lifeline.
Don't think that this hyear country boy is anti-education. Aunt Granma an' mahself taught our younguns right: don't sass them teachers, do yer homework, stay outta them playyard scraps, show up on time and larn you that readin' writin' and arithmatic, which even an uneducated man like mahself cain't see as how it adds up to three "r's."
College, bah! I went to Cambridge. It sucked. I met Sylvia Plath there though, which was cool. They made a movie about it with Gwyneth Paltrow, if you're interested. It also sucked.
I never got the 3 Rs either. Then I figured it out...Reading, wRiting, and wRecking Sylvia Plath's life.
waaal now, Ah mahself did not expect an f-bomb from an edumacated woman suchlike as yerself, but it does impart a certain earthy flavor to yer dialogue, so Ah must say that Ah heartily approve and would be tickled right pink to imbibe a titch of 'shine on a harvest moon night with y'all --and with Aunt Grandma, of course, who likes the 'shine herself.
May Ah take the liberties of amelioratin' mah Friends List with yer presence?
waal now, Ah have bin right honored wit' the suchlike pleasure of a literate woman of y'alls quality promulgatin' her facies upon mah friends list, and to an ole country boy as mahself that is a great honor. Ah may have faced the valley of the shadow of death back when ah was fightin' them Koreen boys, but Ah ain't found much harder in this life then representin' mahself towards folks o' quality. Ah do now sincerely hope that mah simple diction and syntax do in fact represent them as whom Ah would like to be represented.
Dear "Uncle Grandpa": Would you please friend me? I'm getting awful sick of the people on my friends list who can't be funny without similtaneously being MEAN.
waaaal, ma'aam ya'll have shore purvucated much more than a mental age of four. Why, that Camaro drivin' fruit o' mah and Aunt Gramma's most beniferous loins pretends hisself to be 39 winters and has less sense than a mooncalf.
Ah must utter mah most profound apologias fur not gettin mah write on this hyeah Live Journal of an evening -- Ah have taken mah old self into mah International Harvester and druve straight down to Mississip, offering what Ah could of foodstuffs n' solace, and it was a right straight horror there.
Y'all need to do what y'all kin for them folks down in Mississip n Louisian.
[ For real, sorry to break the fourth wall, but Uncle Grampa hasn't updated because the person who writes this volunteered to go to Gulfport, Miss., for two weeks. Again, breaking the fourth wall, if there is anything you can do to ease those people's suffering, please try to do it. The devastation is unbelievable. This is a tragedy unprecedented in our history, and this is the deathknell of the American Century. I do not gloat, I
( ... )
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But in the Great Depression, times was scarce, years was fewer, and if'n we had any spare scratch, it went fer gas money in the International Harvester (which Ah am still proudly driving these many years hence), shotgun shell so's we could eat us some white tail, and mash fer Boilin' Betty, our mainstay and lifeline.
Don't think that this hyear country boy is anti-education. Aunt Granma an' mahself taught our younguns right: don't sass them teachers, do yer homework, stay outta them playyard scraps, show up on time and larn you that readin' writin' and arithmatic, which even an uneducated man like mahself cain't see as how it adds up to three "r's."
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I never got the 3 Rs either. Then I figured it out...Reading, wRiting, and wRecking Sylvia Plath's life.
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Keep it up, it really makes me laugh.
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May Ah take the liberties of amelioratin' mah Friends List with yer presence?
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By the way, I read the rest of your journal. Absolutely hysterical! Puts my troll friends to shame.
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By the way, you're a literary genius, IMO.
Lurv, Cheryl (aka mental age of 4)
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Ah must utter mah most profound apologias fur not gettin mah write on this hyeah Live Journal of an evening -- Ah have taken mah old self into mah International Harvester and druve straight down to Mississip, offering what Ah could of foodstuffs n' solace, and it was a right straight horror there.
Y'all need to do what y'all kin for them folks down in Mississip n Louisian.
[ For real, sorry to break the fourth wall, but Uncle Grampa hasn't updated because the person who writes this volunteered to go to Gulfport, Miss., for two weeks. Again, breaking the fourth wall, if there is anything you can do to ease those people's suffering, please try to do it. The devastation is unbelievable. This is a tragedy unprecedented in our history, and this is the deathknell of the American Century. I do not gloat, I ( ... )
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