I've got a total of 8 times this weekend... I think Im getting worse. I havent been eating much at all, today I had a little bit of mac & cheese and a few Reese cups. More than I usually eat.

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Ive decided to do posts daily on everything that I eat and drink. Maybe this will make me realize how much I need to stop. Im drinking tons of water. Fasting needs to start again soon, after I shrink my stomach down a little first.

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Im back on track. I just made myself threw up. I deserved it, I ate a whole candy bar. Ive lost one of my best friends. Why go on? Just hand me the scissors...

I just cut... deep... worst one Ive ever done... 2 marks.

Okay, past couple of days=up and down. Like every day I dont eat breakfast, or at school. But as soon as I get home I binge. I think im going to go purge right now before everyone gets home. I feel gross. I want out of this body.

Hm. Okay. Awful update. Last night was the worst night of my life. One of my best friends post an entry in her livejournal all about me and how Ive changed. It hit me hard, not because it wasnt true, but because I was too stupid to act on it before it advanced to this level. I cried until there was nothing left. Then I cut. Deep. Im ashamed and ( Read more... )

Past 5 days have absolutely sucked. I planned on fasting this whole week, but since we have no school, its basically impossible. On Monday I had a meeting with my psychiatrist and I was planning on going in and saying I want off of all medicine. Im sick of it, nothing is working, so why drug myself up. She refused, saying that I was too much of a ( Read more... )

Hmm okay this week was mid terms and I seriously stressed out a ton... oh well... next week better I hope?

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KEEP STRONG GIRLS!

Last week was absolutely awesome. It was the best that I have felt in months. I didnt care what I ate or how much. It was fun just being normal... then it all went downhill. I dont know what happened. It started today at the track meet when I realized that my life is nothing. My grades have all gone downhill, I have mid-terms this week (which I am ( Read more... )

Actually... Ive been pretty proud of myself. In the morning Ive been eating a couple of crackers just so I can keep my pills down, and in the afternoon I usually buy like a pretzel or something so that nobody notices. I come home, and I do eat, but half of much as I usually do. Tomorrow I am starting a 2 or 3 liquid fast, depending on how it goes. ( Read more... )