I hate that you constantly put me through loops, I trust you, I can't trust you, then I trust you again. Last year, I invited people to my birthday party, then you made plans with a guy, chose them over me, and didn't even come to my house later because you were too tired. I invite you to my 21st this year, we've been planning for months, I'm ( Read more... )

I probably should not be updating this right now. I've had my ups and downs lately, one of my closer friends went to Europe for 2 weeks, but now she's finally back. Some of my feelings are changing, and I'm talking to people about them, not sure if I will actually disclose them on LJ because they are private; however, they do conflict with my OCD ( Read more... )

I feel really weird.
And I'm drowning in thoughts.

So I guess I can post about my post 2 posts ago now without being overly emotional ( Read more... )

"I keep trying to pick myself up
and then move on
think about the life I'll have
when this fragile one is gone."

 I HATE BEING LIKE THIS!

 I don't want to fight this anymore, I just want to leave, and start over, and let it be.

Can I ask you a question please ( Read more... )

 I don't even know why I try reaching out to you...or anyone else...so futile.

 I feel like I'm going nowhere. And I have no idea what to do with myself.