Comments | _xonikkiox_: I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

_xonikkiox_

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

Apr 10, 2006 17:50

"See it's burning me to hold onto this I know this is something I gotta do But that don't mean I want to What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just I feel like this is coming to an end And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you gotta let it burn"

i love how songs can describe how your feeling more than you can. i dont ( Read more... )

Comments 45

doinitwitrythem April 12 2006, 23:43:59 UTC

I know what you mean, songs are clensing to the soul.Its thereputic.And that's a lot of why I got into the music bussiness and Tay and Ike too even.It was great while it lasted and just because we dont really make music anymore, dont mean its not a very big part of our life still.Because I know I myself can say im always surrounded by music,life is music.Its the best cure for silence ( ... )

(continued) doinitwitrythem April 12 2006, 23:44:17 UTC

I mean sure you are absolutly gorgeous, I wont even lie there and you have a great personality and are an awesome listener and just always know the right things to say...but im married lol and well...and your engaged to one of my brothers already(that would just give him MORE reason to hate me) and have 2 kids to my other brother lol.That'd just be...well...ackward beyond belief.No offense Nikki...really..but whoever the lucky man is..he is absolutly lucky to have your heart./..even if for just a moment ( ... )

Re: (continued) _xonikkiox_ April 13 2006, 02:59:53 UTC

i was HAPPY i was pregnant because i've wanted kids forever. He does make me feel like i did something wrong sometimes and i wish he didnt because it makes me feel like shit. I know he didn't. No he doesn't i've never cheated on him and i never will cheat on him or anyone else....... *sigh* If i did it'd be because i felt like it was done anyhow. i think our relationship is over. he is driving me away and it hurts. i thought this time it was all going to work out but i guess not. i know we're fading fast. and its getting even more blurry with each passing fight. I know my kids deserve better and i know i deserve better. you sound just like tay when i visited him. I dont think he's ever goingto straighten up for good. He's not making any efforts and he's just making it worse period. he always runs away from our problems. no he didnt walk away i did. i was tired of his bitching at me and saying things that wasn't true and i about fucking punched him in his face when he accused me at first fuck him ( ... )

Re: (continued) doinitwitrythem April 13 2006, 08:51:37 UTC

I know you were happy you were pregnant.Dont get me wrong.But you must admit you wernt as over joyed with being happy because you knew it(actually what turned out to be "they") couldn't be Ike's and he made you feel like crap once he found out you slept with Tay and let alone got pregnant with your first child/child's with his brother..even though you guys were broken up.I mean,come on now Nikki.That isnt right.Seriously,I know it hurt for him,but those are 2 very special children..especially to you beings they were your first and as if you wernt nervous enough being a first time parent,he didnt make it any damn easier on you constantly throwing it in your face that he didnt get to have your first and only kids with you.Does that really matter THAT much?Your not broken,its not like you cant have your own kids either?It dont make them any less important,any less unique or any harder to love.Come on now.So yeah..im just sorry Nikki but atleast your admitting it now.You use to make excuses for him because of how blinded you were by love. ( ... )

Thread 11

tj_h April 13 2006, 05:17:34 UTC

Thanks nikki, for everything. I really do appreciate it. And maybe i should see the boys. Just lemme know so i can make sure i look at least like the living dead. I don't wanna scar them cuz of how shitty i look and feel. I do love those byes. I do.

Tay

_xonikkiox_ April 13 2006, 05:20:48 UTC

your welcome tay. i think you should see them too! haha. im sure you wouldnt scare em. but i'll cal lyou before we come. i dont know when it'll probably be soon. i konw you love the boys. i never thought you didn't.

tj_h April 13 2006, 17:30:14 UTC

*chuckles* well if i looked like a skelton when i opened the door to you... i wonder wat the boys would do lol... probably think it's halloween

*sighs* i just hate it, as soon as i start feelign alittle better, i feel guilty for feeling good cuz i don't have her here with me.

_xonikkiox_ April 13 2006, 21:26:16 UTC

haha. well im sure you dont look as bad now as you did then. haha. the boys will probably just smile when they see you. god. they look so much like you its scary. hardly look anything like me and i did all the work.

well hon. your going to feel guilty about feeling better but i think she'd want to you to feel better. i dont think she'd want you not taking care of yourself ya no? she'd want whats best for you. it'll be okay.

Thread 34