Comments | _xonikkiox_: And now I'm stuck in the The web you're spinning You've got me for your prey

_xonikkiox_

And now I'm stuck in the The web you're spinning You've got me for your prey

Jul 13, 2006 05:20

god...going to kate and the kids funeral was so hard on me. i hated to see that..seeing those little caskets..it about broke my heart.and poor zac...he was a mess...and that hurt me to see..seeing zac like that is not a cool thing. my heart goes out to him. i dont know what i would do if something to happened to the twins. i would be half dead... ( Read more... )

Comments 16

tj_h July 14 2006, 14:23:34 UTC

So ike was ok? he didn't do anything.

Wait he was almost like the guy you fell in love with. Hang on, are u falling back in love with him? Are you leaving me for him?

I'm sure you could come nad visit me, and bring the boys. They'll probably put me in the interrogation room.

And i'll probably been getting out in almost a week or so. Maybe you should think if you want ike or not....... cuz to be honest i'm terrified by wat you said about him being like the old ike, the ike you loved.... the ike you could love again.

_xonikkiox_ July 14 2006, 21:07:31 UTC

yeah he was okay. he didn't do anything.

tay no. im not falling back in love with him and im not leaving you for him.

i'll try that because i miss you tay. :o(

oh i can't wait till you get out. i dont have to think about it. i know i dont want hm. iwant you. just because hes the old ike doesn't mean im going to go running into his arms. i still remember what he did and what hes done. you dont have to be terrified. i love you tay. i want only you.

tj_h July 15 2006, 10:39:07 UTC

I love you too nikki. And i'll be home soon. I promise

_xonikkiox_ July 16 2006, 02:23:49 UTC

yay. i can't wait til you get home. i want a BIG hug :o)

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doinitwitrythem July 15 2006, 06:29:38 UTC

Yes...I will catch you ( ... )

_xonikkiox_ July 15 2006, 06:50:31 UTC

i didnt think it would be but i dont blame you. zac this isn't something that you can make just go away and pretend it didnt happen because well it did. i can't say i know what its like to lose a kid because i dont know. but i know it hurts zac but you can't let that pain control you babe. i need tay too. i miss him so much. :o( but i'll help you. i mean it seems like im the person who helps all the depressed people. zac even without your kids your worth something. you still have a reason to wake up with a smile on your face...you have ethan. well you still have purpose. well to do that your going to have to go see nat soon and talk to her. i think it would be good for you both. she knows that. you couldn't forget if you wanted to. theres nothing like the feeling you have when you first hold that baby...theres no better feeling. i do cherish my kids. i know its never really safe..something could always happen but you can't go through life wondering whats going to happen next. zac this baby is going to be born in love and its going to ( ... )

doinitwitrythem July 15 2006, 07:12:25 UTC

I know nikki..damn it, I know by now. Im not as stupid as I wish I was, or as ignorant as I’d like..in order to have bliss..in order to have a break.This is something that has forever affected my life and something that will always be here. I know this now. NO you don’t know what its like to lose a kid, god bless your heart..and you should NEVER have to know what its like to lose a kid nikki, that’s something we will never have in commen, I don’t ever want to have that in comment with you alright?Please don’t even TRY to understand it.Because its an overwhelming feeling that will quickly take you over, and why think about it?Why think about it if you don’t have to? Those kids are very alive and very well and very healthy. Those kids are the biggest part of my brother, the BEST part of my brother, those kids are his greatest accomplishment and gave him his worth back. Sorry..sorry to come to you and sound like a vulnerable ass pussy.I seen nat, I stayed the night, we talked a little bit.We didn’t argue either it was amazing.I got a ( ... )

_xonikkiox_ July 16 2006, 02:42:55 UTC

its affected your life forever yes but it doesn't have to end your life. you can't just stop living zac. i dont wanna have that in comman either but with our luck with these things. i know its an overwhelming feeling seeing how its done this to you and tay...*sigh* zac those kids are his reason anymore. he loves those kids and i'm glad. i'm sorry that hes missing out on some of their lives but he has the rest of their life to be there. i'm glad you went and seen nat you really needed to do that. its good that you all talked without fighting thats progress.well just do with friends right now. its better to have her in your life as that than nothing at all ya no? awww. i know how that is. thats how it was for like ever when i looked at the boys. i just wanted to cry. there still is hope zac.. you have him ( ... )

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