Comments | a1y_puff: [Fic - Kanda/Allen] Slow Steps (2/?) -- REWRITTEN

a1y_puff

[Fic - Kanda/Allen] Slow Steps (2/?) -- REWRITTEN

Feb 23, 2010 09:43

Title: Slow Steps (2/?)
Chapter title: I Don't Bite, You Know
Author: a1y-puff
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Pairing: Eventual Kanda/Allen
Genre: Romance/Humor/Angst
Word Count: 5649
Rating: PG-ish
Warning: None really, I think.
Summary: He wanted to believe that this was just some sort of a sick joke that the stupid rabbit made the bean do or something, and if ( Read more... )

kanda/allen, fanfiction, slow steps, d.gray-man, allen walker, kanda yuu

Comments 23

jayazz February 23 2010, 05:24:57 UTC

Wow, that's become even more exciting! :D
You used the 14th's words from the latest chapters and it looks so... true *_*
And I could just feel Allen's anger when he saw Road standing on Mana's grave, and then his terror when the 14th started choking Kanda *_*
the Innocence-possessing plant was also a very interesting turn :D
and oh God, I'm worrying about Kanda! *__*
thanks for the chapter!

a1y_puff February 23 2010, 05:34:41 UTC

Thank you~!! I'm glad you liked the revision ^___^
Hehe, Kanda would be fine... I guess :P

Thanks for your comment!1 ^^

iruka92 February 23 2010, 06:18:18 UTC

You really have to continue this. I'm dying to know what happens next!

a1y_puff February 23 2010, 06:51:49 UTC

Don't worry, I'll definitely continue this. :D

Thanks for reading! ^^

murderismyname February 23 2010, 07:04:04 UTC

Allen thought Kanda’s exasperated face while having Komui was funny and kind of endearing to watch.

Is it just me, or are there words missing from that sentence?

a1y_puff February 23 2010, 09:26:31 UTC

Oh shoot, it's supposed to be "having to deal with Komui"
I forgot to add it in the final check. Sorry!

murderismyname February 23 2010, 11:17:00 UTC

No worries, it's certainly one of the most... interesting mistakes I've ever seen. ;)

a1y_puff February 23 2010, 11:42:03 UTC

Haha, well yeah, it's pretty much a cracky mistake ^^;

I don't have my home internet right now (am using my mobile), so isumi_ilde will correct it later tonight. Thanks for pointing it out :D

blackened_skin February 24 2010, 17:31:23 UTC

Oh, you've rewritten it! It really... flows better than the last one, it's def a better choice to replace the Earl with Tyki and Rhode. I don't know, it makes more... sense that way. (Not really good at conveying my thoughts, xp)
Now I really wanna know what happens next~!

a1y_puff February 25 2010, 03:24:37 UTC

Hehe, yeah, I have ^^

Thank you! I'm glad that you like this better :D

I'm gonna try to update soon ^^

hakasha February 24 2010, 17:52:42 UTC

Well, yep,it feels a little better written like this. *nod, nod* I loved their talk in the train with Link still there, going all "Oh, please, do ignore me." xDDD

Also, the Innocence-possessed plant crawling around - LOL. (a term I never use, but this was asking for it xDD)

And yes, I think it is better with Tyki and Rhode... and with Allen attacking almost immediately after seeing them, yeah, I think I prefer it like this. Now I just want to see Allen kicking the 14th back into place, maybe with Kanda's help? (somehow?)

As usual, I can't really coldly analyze this and tell you "you have this flaw, this one, and this one, and you should have done this like that and you definitely shouldn't have done that over there." but I think the chapter's better than the other version. Can't really tell how much better, though, heh. ^^; *kicks self* but it's nicer. or at least I think so. There's a bit more action, yeah? *nod, nod*

a1y_puff February 25 2010, 03:15:48 UTC

Hehe, thank you! I kinda like Link going 'oh yeah, just ignore me' XD

About the possessed plant, I actually first got the idea from a game called 'Plant VS Zombie' xD
(may_unleashed said it reminded her of pokémon though XD)

Allen will kick the 14th in the next chapter ^^
(and then Kanda might kick Allen, lol)

Thanks a lot for your comment! I'm glad you like this better :D