better. i can take it. Ill hold it in. Ill win.

and bored.

i had an epiphany the other night. You finally rose from within to reclaim your place. Now do what must be done emil.

you once told me seeing you again is like being with a ghost. had i fallen so low that my former self is considered dead ? or was it the fact that i lost something very precious to me and the damage created afterwords should equal my loss.

the training is getting intense.

it was like seven am and i was on my way to a job , and there you were running down the street. i honked the horn and you gave a dirty look. then we talked all morning

It's sad to watch you from afar now. Thinking of the life we should of had , what we could of had , no were just two lost souls. You came back for a night and brought light into my heart. Then I got to watch you cry . It still hurts to see you cry. Especially when its my fault. I had held onto the idea that youd come back , wed start over. But lets ( Read more... )

One day ill be able to face you , ill be calm and focused , in control of my anger and resentment. Words can't express the feelings i have towards you anymore. I had to watch you destroy yourself , watch you fall into your own personal hell and you had to drag me along with you. I had so much potential you know , your not intelligent enough to even ( Read more... )

i hate watching things slip away. I wont go under this time.

I need to write down my thoughts sometimes. It's a funny thing to read this journal , and see how naive i was. Yet if given the chance , i would go back to that life in a heartbeat , well the earlier entries. I am worried as of late , with moving , lack of money , and work being really slow. I am not sure what is going to happen , however I am ( Read more... )