I can't believe I got back into this journal!!!!

There's going to be a lot of change in these posts!

i needed love...but a slut...thats just what you need. have fun...u deserve it...just like i deserve someone loving me =)

I cant figure out whats wrong with me. I think its actually making me physically sick. All these doctors are doing all these tests and no results. Something deep down inside hurts. I cant make it feel better, I cant even fake it anymore. I'm so sick of being sick...

i don't know if you think this is easy. its not. i didn't think it would still hurt after all this but it does. i guess i decided i wanted something and i was so sure i could make it work but i couldn't. i couldn't make u want me like i wanted u to. there were some things at the time that i didn't like but i always thought that it would get better ( Read more... )

i'm not really ready to do this. but its about time i learned how. all ive done my whole life is run away from anything that hurt. but this time, its different. bc if i run, i'm never goin to get that 2nd chance. and thats what i always went on, just always believed there was goin to be 2nd chances. but this will be the first time thats taken away ( Read more... )

its been a while since ive been on here. just been keeping to myself...always hated to be the one to go and throw all of my problems onto someone. no one wants to be burdened by someone elses burdens..but then again who read this shit...except for you. and i have something to say to you. you called me when i was in boston and thats fucked up...i ( Read more... )

why did you have to move? y could you not commit? why couldnt you stay in touch? why couldnt you get an apartment in queens? why couldnt you be happy? why couldnt you just not drink so much? why cant you be here? why cant it be you who holds me when im sad or trys to make me feel better when im sick? why couldnt you just be my "one"?

fuckkkkk....

here we go again....

36 days to my bday!! i hope this one is better then last years.....it should be...

So I start my new job tomorrow. I'm going to be a full time working girl. Time to grow up I guess. And back to school in the spring. I like having everything fall together...even if it hasn't fallen together with the "love thing". We'll see what happens. I'm just going to focus on working and school...and being who I want to be...and who I can be ( Read more... )