I was just thinking of that time I was with Erik and we decided that it would be a great idea to sneak bannana pudding into a movie theatre by sticking it down my pants. It wasn't...or actually, in retrospect maybe it was. I feel like the fact that it exploded made it a worthwhile venture.

life has been chasing me today, down the unlit hallways of my house . Downstairs to where the faint glow of the television set seems to act as a protective shield around my father. He isn't entranced by the programming, but rather he seems to think that as long as he keeps staring he is safe. The unbroken line of sight connecting him to the ( Read more... )

please please feel better soon. I desperately want this just to be the flu or a horrible cold. I feel like such a bum for not being able to be there to help.

In my mind, beauty and transience have always ben inextricably connected. Ephemerality has always been what made life beautiful. Inseparable. The two are one and the same. Death itself is not what worries me, its the infinite amount of nothingness that follows.

I'm looking for the beauty in endurance, maybe it's found me.

Andrew is not talking to me. He needs time he said. He needs to re-evaluate our friendship. Its never going to be the same. I can't trust you anymore. You're always late. You're not supportive. Sometimes being around you is no fun. You changed. He said these things, and he cried. I have no idea where this came from, why did he let it get ( Read more... )

I feel disgusting and vulnerable. I just want to sleep and forget and disappear. I just need to find some way to retreat into myself, and stay ther and never come out. I want to be sorry, but to be honest I'm not. I'm sorry that I didn't hide it well enough but i'm upset, I'm hurt, and actually no, no im not sorry I didn't hide it better ( Read more... )

We are reading poetry in my Islamic Civilizations class... the translation loses something, but still ( Read more... )

I had to buy over 40 books to read for this semester. Im not saying its impossible to read all those books; I'm sure it would be totally feasible if that were all I had to do, but its not. I can't spend 4 hours every weekend reading Rousseau, and another 8 hours reading Mencius and Confucius and then Sartre on the Colonization of Algiers. I want ( Read more... )

This is the longest I've been at home in years. It's been over a month now, and while I'm enjoying the calm I'm beginning to feel listless. I need some sort of purpose- making blankets, and reading optional art history texts from last semester is not a purpose. I need more, but I suppose I'll be wishing to be back here when the work starts ( Read more... )

Time. That's all that's gotten me this far, and truthfully its all i would ever wish for more of. All I really need is just a little more time. More time to work, think, reconsider, more time to just spend with ... I just need more time. I suppose the trick is to just figure things out sooner so you can maximize on the limited time that you're ( Read more... )