Today I feel crazy. Not a good crazy ( Read more... )

I have done ok today, but it's not like I ever eat at work anyway. I have only had water and some psyllium husks (1 tsp.) I hope they freakin work... I'm totally bored and positive I'm not getting out of here until at least 10, which means I can't work out. STRESSES ME OUT ( Read more... )

My weekend was full of booze. Friday night, as I suspected, there was a HUGE fight between me and Jason. I almost drove back to the city wasted... What the fuck is wrong with me? Anyway, I managed to make it the whole weekend without a b/p... Until last night. I ate a normal sized amount of food for dinner, but lately my GI tract just won't ( Read more... )

I'm mad. Thought we were doing all that shit I posted in my journal ealier... NOPE. Got outta work early and Jason's friend is coming over to smoke up all the pot... muthafucka. i'm pissed off. I think i'll stay at work. No, why should I punish myself? I think i'll drink some red wine instead. Then i'll take the pot away and lock myself in ( Read more... )

Last night was great. Jason decided I needed some cheering up after my bad day. He knew about my ticket and could tell something more was wrong, but not that I had b/p'd flippin 6 times. He took me to the store and wanted to make spring rolls for me, but they didn't have the wraps ANYWHERE! I was glad though because I didn't think I could eat ( Read more... )

Shit! I ate at genghis khan.... A LOT. Sped home to get rid of it, and got a ticket. Came home and ate some ice cream and made brownies. Gonna purge again. Bad day. I suck.

SO... I've been really stressed thinking I had all these tests this week. I have b/p'd all week at least once a day. Last night, I was supposed to study, but instead took some pills and drank 3 really stiff drinks. I woke up this morning and didn't remember much, except that I ate some chips and salsa. I fucked up! This morning started out ( Read more... )

Wow. Had weird dreams last night. Bobby knew I was using this journal and site and told Jason and my whole family. That freaks me out. I keep thinking I'm going to fuck up and leave some sort of evidence. I don't know what Jason would do. I had told him once before that I would stop, but then he asked me sometime later and I told him the ( Read more... )

I'm going crazy (-er). I didn't do so bad today, but now it's 6:30 and I'm scared. I'm starting to freak out and my tummy won't stop rumbling. I can't help thinking if I don't do it here that I'm going to go home and eat eat eat. I'm even thinking about what I would eat here vs. what I can stop and get on my way home. I'm SICK. Jason would ( Read more... )

Yesterday was pretty bad... Jason almost caught me. Well, he kind of did. I ate half of a pretty big sandwich, and when I said I was going to go pluck my eyebrows and whatnot, he there knocking in about 5 min. He doesn't think I'm doing this anymore, but the other night when I was drunk enough, I kept saying I wanted to go puke all my alcohol ( Read more... )