I gotta lose weight... I gotta. I think I have lost a little more, but the scale makes me terrified unless I'm having a great day and feeling good. I think next week I'll take the cals down under 500 with two hour workouts again. That always seems to make me feel better. I will be a size 2 for my wedding... That's a ways from an 8, but that's ( Read more... )

I just wanted to tell some of my favorite people that I got blindsided tonight with some big news.... I'm getting married... I got a proposal this morning around 11 am... Someone got this image of my ring... It's really mine!!! Oh wow. I don't know what to say other than, "what better reason do I have to get better than the love of my life ( Read more... )

Three times yesterday I abused my body ( Read more... )

Today: Woke up hungover, ate breakfast. A LOT OF BREAKFAST. "bathroom". Back to bed for an hour. Then woke up and ate 3 bowls cereal and some chips. "bathroom". Went home and weighed, 145.3 YAAAY. Took my test that I was stressing over (which resulted in the purges) and did pretty well I think. Now I'm at work and can't decide if I want ( Read more... )

Took the TEAS test today, kicked its ASS!! YAY for me! 96th percentile in the flippin' NATION? How is that possible??? Anyway, I'm not bragging, I really didn't think I was going to do well AT ALLLLLL. Ate my lil 95-cal. breakfast and took that bitch. Re-scheduled a test for next month, I think I'm too stressed without 4 tests this week, so ( Read more... )

Found this quote on my friend Kina's website, hope it inspires or helps someone who needs it. It makes me realize how lucky I really am even when I think my life is horrible ( Read more... )

Today is going well I think. I had my 200 calorie breakfast before work and took 1/2 of a lipodrene. Of course, workdays are always so super easy to avoid food or temptation until I get home, so I don't need to worry too much. I took a whole lipo around noon and I am thinkin I'll take another half here pretty soon. That'll make 1 1/2 today and ( Read more... )

Hmm.. Haven't journaled in a few, so I think I will... I don't have too much to say, so I'll make it a quickie. I didn't purge for four whole days. YAY ME. I did, however, fuck it up royally this morning. I don't feel bad about it at all, the only problem I'm seeing with it at this moment is that I now am torn between doing it again with ( Read more... )

I'm just going to cry... My mom is trying to make me feel better about myself and has offered to pay for LA Weight Loss Centers if I can find time to go... Now, I know I was at my highest weight a few months ago, but I've lost ten pounds and am going to keep going until I look "healthily thin"...whatever that means. It just makes me realize how ( Read more... )

I am going to have a good day today. I woke up only thinking of the binge I had planned the night before to carry out today while Jason was at work... I DIDN'T DO IT! Being online and then swimming were the only things that saved me ( Read more... )