“Shadow and Substance”, End notes
[ Endnotes posted 26 Oct 2014 ]
Where did the idea for the story come from?
Some of it came from the story I’d just written with my version of Sheila (“ Come to My Window”). Some inspiration unquestionably came from Diannelamerc’s fic “If You Could See Me Now”. Probably most of it came from my dissatisfaction with the casual death of Sandy in the Season 3 episode “Doppelgängland”: the character was allowed to speak one word - her name - before being killed, but I liked her face. This story, then, was my first foray into denialfic … and, with the revelation of Nika’s former identity, that was doubled.
What was the source of the story’s constant reversals, twists, and double-crosses, however … that has to be credited solely to my own twisty brain. And one aspect of it would be reflected in several stories to come: a number of my characters lie a LOT, from necessity or for momentary advantage or frequently on a whim. Does that say something about my own character? Of co-o-u-urse not.
Is there any particular significance to the title?
As with several of my earlier works, the story originally started out with a different title, in this case “Light and Shadow”. It was intended to reference the difference between the world Sandy occupied and the one she’d left. “Shadow and Substance” later seemed to do a better job of that; not only a familiar term in itself, but with ‘shadow’ signifying Sandy’s phantom existence and ‘substance’ her return to material life. Not deep symbolism, but I wasn’t aiming for Proust.
What is the thing I like most about this story? the thing I like least, or about which I feel most doubtful?
At the time I wrote it, it was probably the best thing I’d ever done, fanfic or otherwise. I still consider it to be fairly prominent among my ‘unsung’ stories, those that (in my opinion) never received notice commensurate with their quality. By which I don’t mean the story deserved fame and a movie contract, but that other of my own fics had received more acclaim without actually being better.
The thing I like most is something to which I’ve already alluded: the twists and turns the narrative took, where what we thought was going on seemed to change by the chapter, or sometimes several times a chapter. All of it, I believe, actually worked in the story, but mainly I had a heck of a lot of fun making it happen. Other elements that I enjoyed were the continuing development of Sheila’s character, the way Nika kept mixing magic and human engineering to get results, and Sandy’s journey from passivity to asserting control. (There was also a tickle at the spectacle of three women, none of them technically human, all of them going by assumed names, and each of them at any given moment lying to at least one of the others and often both.)
What I liked least … well, the one thing that qualifies wasn’t my fault at the time, but it has to be considered all the same. When I wrote this fic, I had not yet encountered the term “Mary Sue”, much less seen a description. Once I did, I had to recognize that the character of Nika, as I drew her, could at least be accused of having that awful status. Check the BtVS/A:tS version of the Mary Sue Litmus Test: there were several items on the checklist that, once I read it, had me going, Well, no, not really, but still … I’m convinced she wasn’t a Mary Sue, whether by character, behavior, or function in the narrative, but if I had known of the phenomenon I could have been more guarded in avoiding the appearance of it.
Is there anything I think I could have done better, or might do differently if I had it to do over?
I did what I could to make Nika’s breakdown, at the end, understandable and not utterly out of character. All the same, even fifteen years later I wonder sometimes how it might have struck others. If I were writing it now, I probably would try to lay a bit more groundwork just to make sure a potential weakness had been buttressed.
Do I have any plans to follow up on this story, or to use the character(s) or situation in a subsequent fic?
Oh, it’s already happened, and then some. My version of Sheila has co-starred in “ … Than Meets the Eye” and made a guest appearance in “ Echoes from the Battleground”, and I have at least one other idea for her that I will write one of these days. Sandy has been featured in “ Objects in the Mirror”, and retrospectively described in “ the Still, Small Voice”, and - yes - I have a big story for her on the drawing board. Nika, likewise, has appeared by description in “ In Ev’ry Angle Greet” and “the Still, Small Voice”, in person in “ Whisper of a Moment”, and in a dream sequence in “ Queen’s Gambit”, and she, too, will feature in a project I’ve had planned for quite some time.
Whether or not we’ll see them after that … well, when I first wrote “Shadow and Substance”, I didn’t expect to use any of them again, so obviously you never know.
Any observations to add at the end?
The story is a decent work in itself. If you want to get the full benefit out of the entire Backstage Series, this is one of the building blocks. And, it’s an excellent early warning of just how unpredictable and downright treacherous aadler can be. Don’t say nobody told you to watch out.