[This journal isn't real. Though I may be highly convincing in my uncanny portrayal of the man that is Aaron Paul, I must state I am not, in fact, the man who I pretend to be. Good for me, sad for you. Move on with the pieces of your life that are left and go on with your search for the real guy.]

I think Samarie and Shane are in a race to see who hits 6 weeks first. If I'm too busy partying with strippers outside of the set, let me know who wins ( Read more... )

There's this espresso commercial right now where everyone is cheering HANK and this guy (most likely Hank) has a mascot of himself following him ( Read more... )

I now have 50 icons to put my attractive qualities as seen in pictures all on public display. It also means that I'm not deleting any time soon so you can stop praying on bended knee for it every night ( Read more... )

I've been striving diligently to win the white trash awards but so far, no luck. You've never heard of the white trash awards? Well, a bunch of people who were past guests on Jerry Springer formed them in 2002 and since then, other brilliant nameless trashies like Tommy Lee and Britney Spears' husband have been winning the awards by a landslide. ( Read more... )

Shane went back home and I left Vegas for a few. Point Pleasant was canceled a little while ago, and if I could blow my constant jackass routine and be serious for a paragraph, I was really fucking crushed. I just have the most unbelievable knack for involving myself in TV shows that are made to crash and sign on to movies that won't even make box ( Read more... )

Samaire called my new girlfriend ugly. I'd be offended but I think she's my fake girlfriend since her name slips my mind for the moment. But I do remember that girlfriend has a breadmaker in her house and actually takes time out to make bread. Sure, it's hard and not edible but she does it naked, so who cares. Breadmaking is now a plus on my list ( Read more... )

My ex-girlfriend says cheating on me was the best thing she's ever done and almost all of her keywords are from songs from the Lion King soundtrack. There's something wrong with that but I'm too stoned to figure it out ( Read more... )

Things I did on Keep Your Women Happy day ( Read more... )