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[aberrantaction]

this week ended up being better. jeni and i are friends again, school wasn't horrible, and boy isn't going to germany. i finished all of my important college applications today, and i figured out that i'm probably not going to get into nyu, since i wrote in stream of conciousness on all of my short answers within five minutes. oh well. doesn't

Comments

I got your email but this is easier somehow

[incomple]

I'm not crazy about the first paragraph... I would change it to something like "Maturing into an adult is universally acknowledged as one of the most difficult tasks everyone faces, and it is a process that continues throughout ones life. Certain catalysts speed the process up, of course; the birth of a child, for instance, or the loss of a parent. The latter is an experience which I have been forced to endure at the age of seventeen." It's your paper and your passion, of course, so I'm not going to try to tame it (that would be like bottling a rainbow). I'm just being as picky as possibleThe parenthetical statements seem a bit too informal and can be removed with no loss in flow or content. The period should be inside the quotation marks in the last paragraph. Capitalize the first letter after a colon. Remove any contractions and de-anglicize any possessives ("the reflection of my father" rather than "my father's reflection," et cetera). Content-wise I can't really make any suggestions outside of the first paragraph, but I'm

[incomple]

I've decided "certain catalysts hasten the process, of course" sounds better.

[sideshowact]

have to agree with above statement about the first paragraph because it doesn't flow as well with the rest of the prose.

other than that, it is gorgeous ling ling.

[sweet_rainfall]

oh wow. i found your journal randomly, through friends of friends, and i just read that...it's absolutely amazing.

[aberrantaction]

thanks

[tpfromalgeria]

I'm so glad that you and jeni worked things out, and I'm so sorry that i keep missing your calls. I'm not avoiding you, i swear. i just happen to either not hear my phone or be away from it. god, i hate my life. haha, i love you!