something dead

[aberystwithe]

my mother hits the bottle every night now, and calls me to talk about matt and how disappointing she was as a mother

Comments

[xflyflyflyxx]

oh Elly. I've been such a shitty friend...

xo.

[thedarkdescent]

i hope things get better for your mother, and i hope things get better for you. i know that lonely hollow feeling and it's even worse when you've been close with someone. what i'm saying sounds so recycled and stupid but this is a little box on a internet diary and all i've got it words to explain it. what i mean is that i feel for you, i hope that things get better, and if you want someone to talk to about the loneliness i'm here, because this feeling has been getting to me lately too and the world seems to get smaller and smaller. it's not the same loneliness you feel when you're teenage and horny, it's the worst kind that make you wonder what you're living for.

take care elly dear

p.s.- the other day i was thinking about you, me, and harry sato were all out in the woods smoking cigarettes (goddamn putney and having to go out to the woods to hide and have a smoke) and i don't remember how it came up, but you were like "well you don't like me 'cause i'm white." and harry said "well you don't like me 'cause i'm yellow".

oh victoria

[aberystwithe]

it's good to hear from you, and i remember those days like it was yesterday... good old harry sato, what a funny kid, and what a fateful long spring... where are you these days? you look so glamorous in your pictures, i hope life is treating you ok... as for loneliness, it comes in and out, and it hit me then because i thought i wanted to be with him again, to have someone to sleep next to, but when you feel like you're sleeping next to a joke it's worse than sleeping dead. eh. anyway, it's thanksgiving, so i'll get back to my family. happy travels,

~~~~Elly