i could act as you expect i should;

follow the cues and appear more normal,

but why would i stoop to that?

what's in it for me?

i don't have a comfort zone, so you don't need to be telling me to step outside it;

i have a Lane of Relative Safety, and i would appreciate you moving out of the way.

thanks.

I had a dream.  I tried to write it down as soon as I woke, but not much of it came back; barely a scene, certainly not a sequence.  Looking at it now, months later, I guess I thought maybe the words would lead to an expanded vision of the story, maybe even some meaning.  But no.

it was a social event of some kind, i don't remember what it was for.
( Read more... )

October 9th 2010, around 6:45pm, just before puck-drop for the Canuck’s first game of the season, just before I saw the excited heads on the television announcing the selection of the new team captain, Henrik Sedin, there in the halls of the cancer care centre where I had spent most of the previous week, I was brushing the side of your head with my ( Read more... )

This journal is 21 years old today.

After 155 entries, I am still ruminating on what I might use it for.

Also, why.

Every thing you love is very likely to be lost,
but in the end, love will return in a different way.

- Franz Kafka

watching over the anonymous people living their lives,
from my apartment window in a tall tower by the water,
not the same water as the expensive part of town but water nonetheless,
i do not try to imagine how they fill their lives;
where they go afterward, where they had been,
i only see them now as they cross my vision,
on boats and boards on the water ( Read more... )

i also remember sugar cubes, little plastic creamer cups, swizzle sticks, disposable drinking cups, and plastic holders (with handles) for the disposable cup. i think they probably banned sugar cubes at some point for being unsanitary (they would typically just leave the box out and people would grub their hands through to select one or two, which ( Read more... )

I began my unexpected career as a software developer 35 years ago, a month before I finished high school.  I hadn't even learned to write a résumé, but a concerned relative had referred me to a small software company that was looking for recent graduates willing to be hired on a trial basis, in lieu of higher qualifications.  It seemed like a ( Read more... )

So, I'm watching the Wizard of Oz and listening to the Dark Side of the Moon, as one does, and I notice a dedication at the beginning of the film which was added for the fortieth anniversary.  It is shown only briefly, after the opening credits which go on for a few minutes, making it easy to miss, but this time I notice it.

In my mind, the numbers ( Read more... )