regrets...

[eyelid]

What kind of woman is more likely to regret her abortion? What kind of circumstances lead to regret? What factors?

Comments

[lovekisses]

Someone who doesn't really want an abortion, will in evitably feel guilty.

I had some sort of guilt with mine, but even when you have a child, most women go through some sort of depressing time.

Any specific reason for the question? Do you regret?

[cailin_t]

i'm positive this one has no regrets. ;) i think she's just researching and looking for opinions for something she's doing..

[lovekisses]

I figured so much, but I wanted to ask just to make sure!

[eyelid]

Nope - like cailin_t says, I had no regrets with mine. But people often ask if they'll regret their abortion, so I'm wondering what other people think will trigger regret. I have my own ideas, but I'm interested in other peoples' takes :)

but even when you have a child, most women go through some sort of depressing time

Good point - particularly those first 6 weeks when you have to wake up every two hours at night :P Postpartum depression is really common and can be quite crippling.

And adoption - well I think everyone knows exactly how emotionally devestating THAT can be. (though of course for some women it's a great choice)

[cailin_t]

for your after-abortion support group or something? i'm pretty positive you'd be able to answer this as well or better than the rest of us~

one that didn't want one in the first place - one that was "forced" into it because of what her family, parents, friends, boyfriend, etc. wanted her to do as opposed to what SHE wanted. a religious one that believed it really was worthy of rights or was created by god or had a soul already, etc - that sort of thing. also, ones that are prone to obsessive thoughts, that can never stop thinking about the choice and wondering if it was the right decision, wondering what her child would be like, thinking about the anniversary of the abortion or the anniversary of the would-have-been due date of the embryo/fetus. other's blaming you and telling you that you made the wrong/an immoral decision afterwards, even if you didn't think so..

[eyelid]

for your after-abortion support group or something? i'm pretty positive you'd be able to answer this as well or better than the rest of us~

I'm interested in hearing the takes of other women. I have my ideas (I'll post them in comments too) but amazingly, I don't always have all the answers :)

I will probably link this entry into the abortioninfo memories. I am trying to get some things archived there so that we don't have to write out new answers to the same questions all the time. "Will I regret this?" is a common question... so I'm soliciting answers :)

[cintinue]

I would say that at first, I almost did regret my choice. I felt relieved, but felt that I could have provided if I tried hard enough, etc. Honestly, I did it because I was losing my job literally two weeks before the due date. Ben and I were just coming off our first rough patch as a couple. I lost my car in an accident the week that I found I was pregnant (we were hit by a drunk drivier). I couldn't see bringing up a child in the world I was living in at that moment (imagine watching the towers fall on tv while pregnant) I was completely freaked

[puckish]

Everything cailin_t said, and I would like to add that grief and anger over crises or losses unrelated to the abortion itself may become associated with the abortion. If a woman has an abortion and her relationship ends a month later, she may take her feelings of loss and blame them on the abortion, when in actuality the relationship had problems long before.

And, of course, women who already suffer from untreated depression or anxiety may blame the abortion for their feelings.

[burned_rose]

everything that was statetd above...as well as that some women may have depression already due to abusive partners, financial problems, etc etc, and the abortion just triggers regret due to the horomonal imbalance.