This isn't how I pictured things five years ago.  As much as I try to convince myself I'm not, I'm a shitty person.  No wonder none of my friends from high school bothered to keep in touch.

I'm a fucking asshole.  If I was in their shoes, I would tell me to fuck off too.

Back to square one.

I'm sorry.

I don't really know what to think right now.  I don't like it when you don't tell me things.  It bothers me.  What am I supposed to think right now?  You're all pissy at me and don't want to hang out.  What the fuck else is new.  Seems like all you ever are anymore is pissed off at me.  I give you everything..at least I try.  I know I'm not the ( Read more... )

what the fuck is happening?

I miss the days when I would hang out with 5 people in one day.  I miss hanging out with everybody.

My group of friends has slowly dwindled from many, to about 3.  Nobody else makes time.  I work 70 hours a week, and I still make time for the friends who make time for me.

Why don't my old friends return the favor I did for them?

I consider myself a ( Read more... )

i fuckin love life and thats all.

Keep changing your mind
Like clouds in the sky
Love me when you're high
Leave me when you cry

I know it all
It takes time
Like a river running dry
When the sun's too bright

So long, this is goodbye
May we meet again in another life
Like strangers passing by
May we see it clearly in a different light

Keep dodging lights
Like a thief in the night
( Read more... )

I had a dream last night that I was in the car with Jacob and Janelle ( Read more... )

Today makes me want spring.  I want warm weather.  I want drive in movies.  I want beaches.  I want races.  I want driving around randomly.  Road trips.  Did i say beaches?  I'm sick of research papers.  They can go rot.

3 choices.

1991 Blazer with a crushed roof - $200
Hurst Shifter + Handle for my truck - $220
Fix the exhaust leak - $100ish.

Which one should I do...

I don't pick up the mail
I don't pick up the phone
I don't answer the door
I'd just as soon be alone
I don't keep this place up
I just keep the lights down
I don't live in these rooms
I just rattle around

I'm just a ghost in this house
I'm just a shadow upon these walls
As quietly as a mouse I haunt these halls
I'm just a whisper of smoke
I'm all ( Read more... )