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The party Life high on my high horse.
I'm starting to realize that Maybe I have not expirienced all that's to be had. I'm starting to realize all the undisirable traits about everyone I Know including (as always) myself. Hopefully one day I can redeem myself and prove to be a person of outstanding virtue instead of condemning myself to normality. After observing all the indescrepencies ( Read more... ) -
Clouded visions and Spirals
I've found a new potential date? I dunno. His name is Jay. He lives in Chicago.He's really cute and we share alot of similar intrests and for once it's someone who listens to my music. Which a huge HUGEplus. I talked to him on the phone last night and he has a really sexy voice. of course I don't know what mysteries are in his past. maybe i won't ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
So It's damn near 3:00 am. What am I doing up when I know i'm going to be kicking myself at 6?
I don't know, but maybe I can find peace once I clear some of the static that's been buzzing through my brain today.
One word:
MAURCY GOMULICKI
( Read more... ) -
to my journal, my only freind
It seems your the only freind I have anymore. The only person i can ever fully dispense my burdens onto, though perhaps not for long. I have a deathwish, that's stronger than any deathwish I've ever had before. This one may be granted, If I'm lucky. I'm be entering the army and the threat is what excites my senses. I imagine what the last sound ( Read more... ) -
knowledge is worthwhile,ignorance is no excuse
I scarcley reconize myself anymore. I realize that it was the acessories I wore that I identified as "myself" Only now, as I fit into societys image of " normal" because of finances not through any choice of my own, but only now, as i sit here in a fucking suit with bleach blonde hair do i reconize myself and what's important. I don't have an image ( Read more... ) -
"calling all duelists....."
I figured it was time for a new entry scince the last one is damn near ancient. I've been carefully debating over a few things. I felt a shifting of the winds on the horizon and now they're here. although there are still a few things that lie stagnant, I really can't complain. Along with the changes, has brought a new perspective on things. A hope ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I don't want anything. I don't want to eat. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to watch movies. I don't want to listen to music. I donn't want to dance. I don't want to cook. I don't want to drink. I don't want to play games. I don't want to drive. I don't want to be on the computer. I don't want to shop. I don't want to dress myself. I don't want ( Read more... ) -
What a fricken fracken week
What the hell am I waiting for? I still haven't gotten that stupid application sent off yet. I've debated weather or not I should take out a loan anyway and find a job out there. I feel New Jersey just pulling me in. Theres nothing to do here and no opportunities. I don't know how much longer I can honestly sit around in rockford knowing that those ( Read more... ) -
?
Sigh* my alcholic mexican..
apparently..we are dating :) ? -
Love-fucking-sick
I wish somebody out there cared trully cared for me as a boy does for a girl. I am literally Sick.I'm tired of tasting bile in my mouth all day. I've been throwing up because i am so unhappy.I thought I was slowly recovering, but last night I crashed. I completely lost it all over again if not worse than the night it occurred. I HATE love ugh! ( Read more... )
