It is too soon. It is way too soon. I have found myself in that silky realm of romance with an entirely new person who lights up an entirely different side of my heart. I can't tell if my feelings for Wes are real, or if I want these feelings so badly that I have feigned them and fooled all parties, including myself.

Everything between us works ( Read more... )

Why do I fall so quickly and deeply into relationships? How can I change my attitude about love? How can I learn to see it as a slow, deliberate progression instead of a helpless and intense whirlwind that sucks both parties in and spits them back out ( Read more... )

Well, this is interesting.

This week I reached a very Clueless-esque awareness of my feelings, and literally sat up in bed one morning with an "Omg" ringing through my head. With a certainty that surprised me with the suddenness of its arrival, I realized that I like the boy who has been pursuing me all summer.  In fact, I really like the boy who ( Read more... )

I move out of this house at the end of the month, and I'm going to miss it. It's a charming house just east of campus, on a wide street with lots of trees. It's small and white with blue shutters, and incredibly old, which I love ( Read more... )

Sometimes I can go a whole day before I remember that I'm sad. So maybe I'm no longer sad? I can spend hours on the reservoir in a boat adorned with high school friends, drinking cheap beer out of a can and watching my skin burn with mild interest. I can buy dresses and new flip flops, work out, read books and strum my guitar. I can make the people ( Read more... )

I'm forcing myself to write an entry because the most productive thing I've done today is throw a rubber hose at my dog in an attempt to teach him to retrieve it. It hit him on the side of the head and he gave me an offended look before springing off in the other direction. It was a very defeating moment for both of us, I think ( Read more... )

There must be something about the tragic girl that appeals to me so, for I play her quite well. I've been playing her my whole life. Even when life is going well, she's in there, peering out at her world and her friendships with scrutiny and distrust ( Read more... )

What is this black veil that has fallen over my mind for nearly six months? I've called it heartbreak, reverse culture shock, new roommates, a difficult transition. But those circumstances don't seem sufficient to explain the distance I've felt around and within myself. I've withdrawn from the entire world. I erased myself from Facebook because ( Read more... )

If I was broken after Matt, then after Andrew I am hardened. In my mind, men have become the frightening, inescapable predators and females are the hapless victims of some cruel natural cycle ( Read more... )

I guess in a lot of ways, life has been getting better. I'm even in a semi-relationship with a guy who adores me, writes vignettes about our time together, appreciates my idiosyncrasies and holds me close to his body in the swimming pool at dawn when I shiver ( Read more... )