(Untitled)

[jesuisgringoire]

cross posted to mybodytaken

I'm writing this now because I can't get him out of my head. There's a guy I've talked to for around 7 years...I don't know how normal it is for internet pen-pal type relationships to end up really deep confidants, but I've listened to my friend for years now and I really love him. We're both gay, both around 20, and he confided in

Comments

[ryudwaggie]

I just came across this community. I am a survivor. I have overcome and grown into the fine man I am today

[mktrias]

I know this is not the advice you want to hear, but there is no normal process for recovery from abuse. (Even the so-called "stages of grieving" are crap). The best thing you can do, if you want to help your friend, is to ask him really hard questions, and get him thinking deeply about them. He has to solve his own problems. You can lead him in the right direction, but HE has to actually do the work. Even therapists can only do so much. In my mind the only benefit of therapists is that they can prescribe meds. And sometimes just sitting there and being forced to think in a coherent way is very productive (any thinking that goes on at 3AM while you're drunk does NOT count).

On an unrelated note, it sounds like this friendship is unbalanced -- you say you've listened to him for 7 years... does he ever listen to you? Do you get anything back from him? If not, what are you doing?

[jesuisgringoire]

thanks for the input =)

does he ever listen to you? Do you get anything back from him?

oh yeah, definitely - none of my issues are directly pertinent to this particular community though. *shrug*