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[chrissie1964]

It was a day like any other day. Not bad but not good. Typical for me lately

Comments

[inaniac]

wow ... congratulations on such a big step. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, and goosebumps ... and it's not cold here.

When i started to read this, I felt like shouting, "don't put the book aside, read it NOW!", but you had. Your post is shining with your new light!

[chrissie1964]

Thank you. i was quite amazed at my reaction to it as well.

[locachicky]

my therapist HIGHLY suggested that very same book, saying that she uses passeges from it,etc., all the time.....and I ran right out and bought it - just over 1 year ago....glanced through it when I got it....and couldn't handle all the "stuff" that it brought back..so..it's been sitting on the bookcase ever since, and hasn't been touched.....
someday - I'll get to it....just can't right now....

[chrissie1964]

i totally understand. There is a feeling that i want to absorb everything from it right now. To "get better" quickly. But, i also know that this is a process that will take time and strength. Strength that i am not quite ready to produce yet. You know, it's sort of like gaining weight. You didn't put it on in a month, you cant take it off in a month. Sure there are quick fixes but you have to get to the root of the problem. i have memories and feelings and shame and guilt pushed deep down inside for 30 some odd years. It is going to take some time.
Anyway, hugs to you and here is to both of us conquering our Demons.

[siegeengine]

Omg I found that book quite by accident on the $1.00 rack at our local used bookstore. I brought it home on a lark and began reading it. It was so incredibly powerful that I had to stop.

I've got so many books on the subject, but only this one and maybe 2 others have had that strong an impact on me... so strong that I can't even read them.

I understand and can empathize. One of these days I'll find the strength to get back to the issues... and get back to working on them. It's not easy. It's never easy.

Thank you for posting what you did... you've made "doing the work" seem a lot more hopeful than it has seemed to me lately.

[chrissie1964]

i totally understand. i have memories and feelings and shame and guilt pushed deep down inside for 30 some odd years. It is going to take some time to deal with all that. Sometimes i feel as if i dont have the strength to handle it. i am lucky though. i have a wonderful family that supports me and a Boss that has bent over backwards to make sure i get better. SOmetimes you have to allow yourself to lean on someone to keep that strength flowing.
Anyway, hugs to you and here is to both of us conquering our Demons.

[mrs_x]

You will keep evolving.. I can see that.

[chrissie1964]

Thank you. i am going to keep plugging away.

[pleasepinchme]

*hug* I think we all feel that way at times. It's normal to feel like that. Then again, I only know that I'm told it's normal. I don't know what normal really is. I guess it's a common reaction... I know I feel it. It helps to talk to someone about the feelings, it really does. Even just here. It's better with a human who is trained in how to respond, though.

[chrissie1964]

Normality is definitely an individual term. Who really knows what is normal? i am sure for many years, besides my weight i appeared "normal", when deep inside i was a time bomb just waiting to explode. i thought i had dealt with everything. i thought i had handled it but i was wrong. i couldnt see the self-destructive behaviors i was exhibiting. i just thought it was "part of growing up". That i was a "modern" woman. Promiscuity. Overeating. Experimentation. It took me a long time to face up to the truth.
Anyway, thanks and hugs.

[whendovezcry]

OMG..I couldn't see it either, the self-destructive behaviors I was exhibiting. I experienced all the same behaviors you did...Promiscuity(even while i was married), Overeating(I yo-yo'd for 10yrs.) and experimentation(did it all). I never faced up to the truth...I just ignored it and pretented I was fine...just being a "modern woman". It took me a long time to face the truth. Thank you for sharing...I cried while reading your post...I will try and go out and buy that book. Maybe it will help me. Thanks again and hugs.