I bought Carmen Electra's aerobic striptease DVD.

GOOD TIMES! I am not extremely flexible, rhythmic or coordinated, and even I managed to pull off Carmen's moves.

AND THE BEST PART IS THAT I CAN DO IT IN THE COMFORT OF MY OWN 7X7 BEDROOM

It was like practicing sex.

What an amazing word.

It's a noun within a noun, and also with a verb.

It combines two concrete, strong words - cock and sucker - to create a mental picture, yet when attributed to a person it is so abstract.

Love it.

I'm not pregnant.

Just throwing that one out there.

It's nice to have something to look forward to every third week.

1. Laugh at Ontarians ( Read more... )

I called in sick today. Told them I had the flu.

I didn't.

Teehee.

No ( Read more... )

I'd marry you tomorrow

It is cold in Ottawa.
When it is cold, your nipples stick out.
Therefore, people in Ottawa have obtrusive nipples.

It is 4:52PM on a Wednesday
and my roommate is drunk off her ass because she's been playing Ride the Bus since 3pm

Okay guys:

First, get a brazilian wax. Then, ride the bus for 45 minutes.

45 MINUTES OF JOY!

This is too much information, isn't it?