i realy need to leave this place, i cant handle everyone being so criticle of me, i just need to die or something, im in love and cant have him, and i keep messing up... i dont mean to i just need people to talk to, people who dont judge me... im just a screw up and now im all depressed, i was doing so well, til now i guess

so im at work again, i got outta skol at 2 and went tanning then to work... lol yea i work w/ danny all nite who has a g/f now and is in a bad mood all the time b/c he cant be w/ her all day... o well anyway, now aaron has a g/f friend for real and its really hard... i want him to myself and i cant have that, i guess its time to move on, like our ( Read more... )

ok yea so my life is crazy, i sit at home friday after work, then i work saturday and sit home til late and watch movies w/ rick til i fell asleep, it was nice to sleep and not fuckin have nightmares about aaron, well moreso bad dreams, usually i fall asleep cryin about aaron and that night i actually got to like sleep and sleep peacefully w/o bad ( Read more... )

yea um im at work, bored, have no life b/c all i had is gone, i wish things were different but wishes dont change things, i cant even like go out, i mope around and ruin everyone elses life so yea i just keep to myself...

@ work yet again, i didnt sleep at all last nite, and had to be at the hospital at like 615 this morning, avery had surgery on his balls... poor kid had a hernia... anyway i stayed there for a while b/c blair didnt feel good and neither did tim... got averys perscription and went to skol!!! aaron freakin moved on and im totally crushed but i guess ( Read more... )

today was ok i geuss, tons better than yesterday, somehow i just cant get it through my head what the hell is goin on in my life, i love him so much still and he fuckin has a new g.f already! how the hell does that happen, and who the hell would want to do that... to me... to themselves... anyway today school was cool i guess, but i dressed up and ( Read more... )

im at work yet again, but im bored and my boss is playin drums on buckets in the back room!, im so lost still at what to do, becuase now taht aaron and i broke up i feel like i need him and dont want to lose him and i feel like he is ready to move on, he isnt bothered, anyway i gotta go i guess for now, even tho i donno what im gunna do

um friday, i worked got mad at danny for havin travis there all freakin nite, but o well, then saturday i worked, yea it was actaully kinda sad b/c it was ricks last day and i liekd workin w/ him but o well lol life moves on... tk and aaron came to visit!!! that was sweet, lol yea anyway um then hung out w/ aaron and yea um sunday played my flute, ( Read more... )

yea i dont think my last lj made sence but we had a costomer so i had to leave lol well get off the internest so i could reconnect to the thingy well yea u dont care um yea i dont mind my b/f havin good girl friends but then i dont think its fair for him to like hate my guy friends and think its weird, dont jsut stop talkin to them b/c i said taht ( Read more... )

yea im at work and shit, i still hate my hair and um yea now i read my b/f's lj and find out he has a best friend tahts a girl well yea i donno anyway gottago so ill write later