haven't been on here in a long time...

i guess that's why most people delete LJs after they get myspaces.

oh man, i've been needing to spill about some things, but i know i can't. especially not on line, but especially not to another human. which is the problem, because i need to tell someone...

i hate highschool.

i hate boys.

my heart aches

wow, haven't been here in a long time.. i guess that's what myspace does to you ( Read more... )

... few short comments before i smash my head into the wall.

1.) i hate Bailey.
2.) i hate APs already.

3.) i'm apologetic to say, i am in the process of having Mike send me the FOB album.

now- a gun, someone, anyone, please?

...and yes, Mike, i did have fun in my bed last night. sleeping. alone. and i didn't think twice. so that's that.

i want to scream
i want to cry
i want to break something
and hide
and stand on the roof
and swear at the world
and fall off without hesitation
and wake up tomorrow morning
and have everything be back to normal
before i was fucked up
before i remember
before i was born

i'm numb, from synapse to nerve. my body is slipping from my reach, slowly, as it does often. i should be used to it now. i train myself to cope. my brain aches, my flesh is tired and heavy. the blood in my veins runs slower than normal, if possible. i move with a fog of lethargy around my figure, and sight is as clear as midnight mist. i should be ( Read more... )

so, i spent the entire day baking and shit. my parents have the neighbors coming over in a bit, and i'm getting shipped off to Mike's, with no dismay. i'll need to strip a ride from someone in order to get home, though. but i'll manage. always do ( Read more... )

so, warpy was pretty nice. Fury put on an excellent show (duh) because they're positively amazing. i'm in love with Jeremy and his metrosexuality. he's my hero. Jess and Erin got the EP signed for me, because they totally rock. during which time, Mike, Ian, and i remained in the pit for 30Seconds. who happened to be phenom. Jared was as popular as ( Read more... )

why can't i be manageable, and just believe in God?

it posts a question, deceivingly simple, though well aware of human nature's tendency to over-analyze the slightest perception. are we really happy with who we are? the consolidated answer consists of two to three letters; y-e-s, or n-o. but watch, as the mind goes to work at what it does best: make things complicated.

once again, i'm going to use ( Read more... )

not that anyone ever reads this anymore, but i feel the need to spill about myself to someone other than myself. hence, the use of the mechanical encoding device known as "computer."

i truly can't figure myself out. it'd been several hours since i voiced my opinion to Jess and Erin about a fairly important decision i'd made, that i started to have ( Read more... )