those days when im walking and look up at the sky ( Read more... )

what i do is wrong.
i can say it
i can feel it
but i cant change it

this horrid feeling in the bottom of my stomach is deepening.

next time someone i care about threatens to kill themselves....
i swear to god............
wait, what god? someone answer that.

i was in the woods ( Read more... )

ned is a bear.
those visualizations on windows media player are trippy.
bjork is god.
ive been happy for 90% of the day. thanks only to rob. *smile*
those are the statements for the night. with that, i sleep.

rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob Rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob rob ( Read more... )

"tried to stab 100 holes in my chest with a fork
would only have to do it 25 times, because of four prongs"

here i am ( Read more... )

thanks, Sarah for reminding me about this thing, its really nice to write in here and just "let it all out" sometimes. so my days have been pretty ho-hum. lately. good mixed with quite a bit of "badness." most of the time i am depressed. but thats no change. however, it is depression for new reasons. almost refreshing. rob does make me happy. i ( Read more... )

i was scrolling through my past entries, realizing how much i sound like a maniac in my journal. maybe thats because it is an accurate picture of my personality, maybe its because i only really write when im upset or angry or insane ( Read more... )

people used to run around saying what a wonderful person i am, and how they care for me deeply. that does not happen anymore, because it has changed. i have changed. aparently, for the worst. i cant even hide my feelings anymore. i wear my disgusting mangled heart on my sleeve ( Read more... )