A lot of my internal confusions have been about controlling my feelings towards someone else, or figuring out how to control the feelings of another.  Mostly, it's about the anxiety that comes with the inability to do the latter ( Read more... )

It's getting awfully hard to ignore the fact that I'm a grown-up.  Two months into the lawyer thing already.  While that is bringing its own unique stresses, challenges and rewards, I'm struggling a bit with the realities of the wide-open plain of real life.  There are no set deadlines, goals, assignments, evaluations or choices.  These days, it's ( Read more... )

 I can't help but chuckle about how much time has been spent and (electronic) ink has been spilled about boys over the last 8 or so years on here.  I've said it once and I'll say it again - love and other sundry have always been a bit of an enigma for me.  I've been wildly fortunate to never have a shortage of it, but being the goal-oriented chap I ( Read more... )

Hit by a truck full of loneliness tonight.  It doesn't happen often, but it sure stings when it does ( Read more... )

The more free (what a loaded word) time I have with myself, the more I realize who I really am.  Or maybe who I've become.  I am all of the good things I love about myself, and there is an undeniable part of me that revels in chaos.  Or at the very least in watching chaos.  I don't know if this side of me is 'off' enough to be the dark part of who ( Read more... )

What do you think of the idea of (not) doing something for the sake of (not) doing it ( Read more... )

The first entry of my journal was on July 16th, 2003.  I was 19 years old ( Read more... )

 I want to write, but I feel like it's been such a ridiculously long time since I've kept a journal that it may just be something that's over.

Or maybe we've got a Lazarus on our hands.  Stay tuned.  

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a white rabbit, in the middle of july.  i'm standing in the middle of the street, in the middle of the night, and the whole world is simultaneously thinking about loving me and killing me.