17.

[actoholic]

17 days left until this appointment, and I am starting to feel some pressure to maybe say something to my family. My whole family

Comments

[jessefivey]

Coming out to family is hard. I don't know if this is good advice at all, but sometimes it's easier if someone else comes out for you, so to speak. I came out personally to my immediate family and my grandparents, but I ended up having my mom tell her side of the family and my dad tell his (although my dad didn't have my consent when he did, which was a problem), and this was a whole lot easier than having a bunch of really emotional conversations with every segment of my family. For instance, if your Gram supports you explicitly, she might be willing to tell other people in your family. Often having someone else do it carries more weight, because it shows that you've got someone else in your court.

Just a thought.

<3

-Jesse

[actoholic]

I would sooo prefer to do it that way, except that I know my dad wouldn't do it, I can't trust my mom not to be like "oh (birthname) THINK that SHE's a boy and is gonna do x, y, and z" and my grandma, while supportive, really doesn't understand it enough to be explaining it to the rest of the family. I'm thinking that by writing a letter, I can avoid having a zillion super emotional conversations, the downside though, is that there's the possibility of my letters being ignored. Although I guess if they ignore them that's not really my problem, because I'm gonna get on hormones either way, and I warned them, whether they acknowledge that or not. Then again, it is my problem because they're my family and I'm gonna spend time with them and can't have them being all birthname and pronoun happy some months down the road... Bah!

[actoholic]

(I think I'm thinking way to far ahead.)

[transversely]

Just be careful that you don't tell them and then let them pressure you into waiting. It might be better to start T, then tell them all. Just knowing my own family dynamic, there was a long time when they might have really sabotaged my transition if they had know.

[actoholic]

That's real. I think I've sort of already let that happen for way to long with my mom. She always tries to make me promise to keep her informed and involved in the things I'm doing, then tries to make me promise to wait, not to do anything else until. . . well, probably until never.

[transversely]

Yeah, that makes me nervous...it's a tough balance to find.