An excerable exercise in tedium. The noble savage elf man was uneasy. The frost was coming and he had failed to gather enough turnips to make it through the winter. Also for a week now he had been feeling stirrings, but knew not how to satisfy his innocent urges. Mostly he had been letting off steam by bashing the brains of baby frogs out on ( Read more... )

A fake belief in an ancient religon. A wretched relaince on pork and circumstance. Hyopochondriac psuedo-heartattackes paralyze the fishermens left brain. A sinatra song plays soft but there is nothing there and nothing to turn off. A relatively abusudist demand from Badlands most be reckoned with. A ton of tuna, a languid afternoon ripe with ( Read more... )

Pearlescent Unicorns slowly trot down the fields of poppys and switch grass. A babbling brook meanders through mystical forests, enchanted gulleys, and scary badlands whispering ancient secrets to the scions of ancient races, fauns, nymphs, dryads, and other fairy children. An glade that was once the embarking point of a noble and shining elvish ( Read more... )

M145CLTST .45 Colt $410.00, Ticket to Thailand $567,Armani Suit $1250 Homemade leather Italian Shoes $365, Finder's Fee, Coffin, Parental Stipend $100,000. Getting a cheap Thai whore to let you splatter her brains all over your new suit and shoes, possibly giving you aids, so her family can have rice during the dry season, because they spent all ( Read more... )

When the easy misogyny of low expectations overrides the good sense of my forbears a prediliction for predicaments is revealed for the sham that it is. To clarify the modern movie classic starring a certain giant, unfairly respected more for his proficiency at hoops than his talents as a serious thespian, who plays a genie has been unfairly ( Read more... )

Dangerously cheesy Porcine perfection. I truly am invisible now I have no secrets left to congeal... The inveterate desire to be the catalyst of the revolution have finally left me stranded in a wretched hive of scum and squalor. The algea have clogged the gears and the machine will no longer run. We once ran through the fields saturated with ( Read more... )

Syncophantic monkeys have stolen my last banana... and I'm pissed. Pent up frustration over all the years have stolen my ability to react in a manner becoming of a man of my stature. Portly pigeons. The establishment is telling that I must work. Between drunken meandering the midget on my shoulder has gotten undue influence over my actions. ( Read more... )