020.

[adamantined]

Comments

private;

[adamantined]

Would you say I was crazy if I told you that I let one of them chew on me a little?

1/2

[alittlecredit]

That's gross. Really gross. I think I need to go barf now.

private;

[alittlecredit]

Claire, why would you do that? I know...that you have a mutation or something that means you get better, but you can't just.

Risk yourself like that. Like it doesn't matter.

private;

[adamantined]

It's not like I haven't done it before. I'm not new to this. I've survived a small explosion. I can't die. Not really. I can never die. One little dino bite isn't going to cause any problems.

private;

[alittlecredit]

The problems start when you think of it as 'one little dino bite.'

private;

[adamantined]

I can crawl through a wood chipper, Julio. It is just 'one little dino bite.'

private;

[alittlecredit]

It still hurts.

private;

[adamantined]

Not anymore.

private;

[alittlecredit]

What do you mean? What happened?

private;

[adamantined]

This... requires a little bit of back story, I think.

So there's this guy, right? Back home, he created a lot of problems for a lot of people with abilities. His MO was to go around the country and cut people's heads open, steal their abilities and kill them in the process. For a while, he was really interested in getting my ability. Regeneration is kind of top notch as far as powers go, I guess, even if I always felt like it just made me a freak. There's a little bit more to it than that, but that's... the basic story.

He came to my house one day, right before I came here, took my ability, told me that I was special, and then he left. Like it was no big deal. I don't know what he did to me, I guess it doesn't really matter in the long run, but feeling pain is impossible. I didn't notice anything until I let that dinosaur chew on me. It was like being dead. Or like I was trapped in an out of body experience.

That's what happened.

private;

[alittlecredit]

I ran into a guy like that once. Back when I was your age. He got me but we got him back. He's dead now. Didn't cut people's heads open to do it, though.

You can't feel anything? Anything at all, or just pain? Because that's bad. That's not good. You need to get help before it gets worse.

private;

[adamantined]

He took your power?

Just pain. I think. I take a shower and I can feel the water, but I don't know if it's too hot or not. I can feel carpet under my feet but I don't know when I step on a thumbtack. I don't know, really, and I don't know how I could what kind of help I could get short of someone opening my head again and looking inside.

private;

[alittlecredit]

I got it back. Not like it matters now.

Either way, I know how you feel. I mean, I don't know exactly how you feel, but I know what it's like to suddenly realize something you pretty much need to handle yourself in the world is suddenly missing.

Maybe it's something he did. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's part of your ability. It happens sometimes where I come from. Some people develop...downsides, sometimes deadly ones. The ones that don't kill people, sometimes they can be fixed. I was fixed once, so maybe you can find somewhere here to fix you.

private;

[adamantined]

It's like... being naked. Like that dream where you're late for school on the day you have the hardest test of your life and then you realize midway through that you're naked. That kind of naked. Completely exposed.

I remember, while it was happening, that I couldn't feel anything. I think he said something about nerve endings, but I can't be sure. I remember every second of it, but I can't remember what he said. There's someone here that I could ask - about all of it, maybe even about the developmental downsides - but I don't even know how to begin that conversation, and I don't even know if I want to tell him about it.

... How did you end up getting fixed?

private;

[alittlecredit]

It's like having cotton stuffed into your ears and nose and your head shoved into a bucket of water.

If you can get it treated, try. The consequences could be worse. For you or other people. My friend Rahne back home is going through issues like this right now. Says she doesn't want to-- you know what, nevermind.

Dr. Hank McCoy. He took me in and taught me how to control what I could do down to a molecular level. I just kept doing what he told me to when I was a snotty little brat, and it worked. Otherwise I would have killed millions of people by now. Which would suck a lot.

private;

[adamantined]

We could sit here and think up metaphors all night, but I don't think it'd make anything feel any better.

No, wha -

Actually. It's none of my business. I'll ask someone, even if it's just because I don't feel like walking around with a big stick hanging out of my leg when I don't realize I fell on it.

Someone I know had that same problem, for a minute. Everyone kept worrying about the possibility of a body count, but I don't think anyone ever stopped to think about the emotional impact on the guy who couldn't control it.