I think I need a millionaire. That way I could be a tag-along sex toy. AND I could act all cute and get my own greenhouse. It's too cold in the mornings for the sago palm to be truly happy.

Maus location: slammed against Lisa's door frame, tail about to get pinched.

That is so much better, you have no idea.

Maus location: tucked behind Lisa's shoe after much abuse

omg. ok. pretty boy at work, you need to stop making cute gaming jokes. you also need to stop making cute jokes. you need to stop looking at the same girls that i look at. this is getting old. i do not like blondes. do not make me have an exception. please do some other stupid jock thing so don't have to like you like that ( Read more... )

Trying to get back on a normal sleep level by GETTING UP in the middle of the night and then napping for about half an hour til real get up time. So far I've managed to last from 4-5:30. Next step is to actually do something other than bum on the internet that whole time.

Maus location: just outside of the scratching post cardboard debris

Does anybody know how they rank tattoo artists?
And/or does anybody know anyone who isn't in Tennessee that's decent?

Today's Maus location: Inside the box tunnel.

I should write a book about my family ( Read more... )

Me: Travis, why does everything go away and you don't have a menu bar?
Travis: I don't know! I came home really drunk one night and I fucked something up.
Me: Can't you right click? (Proceeds to right click and fix the problem)
Travis: Oh. Thank you.
Me: How long has it been like that?
Travis: (Quietly) Since Valentine's Day.

Things you can learn from Travis ( Read more... )

FUCK SHIT YEAH MOTHER FUCKERS

SOMEBODY PASSED COLLEGE

I THINK IT MIGHT BE ME

The trouble with not being submissive is that it takes so much more work ( Read more... )