So I was watching a BBC news item about the "Crossbow Cannibal" who's just been sent down for murdering prostitutes in Yorkshire. They interviewed one of his ex-girlfriends who gave a chilling description of the inside of his flat, a glimpse into the mind of a crazy murderer ( Read more... )

So it seems I'm turning into Daily Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn. I made some comment about the Wikileaks cables stating that the Pope was still Catholic and that is the title of his latest Mail article.

I feel I should go on to point out that it's political correctness gone mad.

You couldn't make it up either.

Andy

One of our senior executive team is wearing one of those inside-out furry jacket things we use for Beastkin kit in Shatleg.

I keep getting the urge to beat her to death with a foam sword. This doesn't say good things about my mind.

Andy

Just when I think my day can't get better I come home to the MSN News Headline:

"Actor Dick Van Dyke Rescued by Porpoises!"

I love the world. It's great.

Andy

Has anyone on this list heard of a November tradition known as "Mischief Night"? It's a night just before bonfire night where children are allowed to behave like little shits and get away with it, according to my colleagues. Having never heard of it before I was wondering if it is a Yorkshire thing, or if I have just lead a boring life.

Andy

I would like to remind everyone that it is Movember, and encourage anyone able to do so to join me in growing a huge moustache for charity to support awareness of men's health issues.

I'm not being particularly altruistic; I just think social engagements (and especially LARP) will look hilarious with an overabundance of face-fungus.

Andy

So after the announcements of a 33% reduction in our budget the first real sign of privation has occurred. Today at the canteen we got two meatballs for lunch instead of three.

DAMN YOU CAMERON

DAMN YOU TO HELL

Due to the influence of odd foreign lollies half of the people in my office now have blue tongues.

As I work for DEFRA this may not end well. If they slit my throat and burn my body avenge my death, FLIST.

Andy

Slight update to my last post:

It tasted like ham, cheese, FAILURE and stomach cramps, coupled with a strange greasy residue in my mouth that took a long time to shift.

I think I've learned my lesson.

I found the most awesome thing in the supermarket yesterday. It's called Ham and Cheese, and is basically a stick of cheese wrapped in ham then shrink-wrapped. It's the perfect food for on-the-go professionals like me who are too busy to wrap their own cheese with ham.

It tasted like ham, cheese and FAILURE.