Back to normal practices this week and not a moment too soon: our captain was beginning to unravel under a grueling schedule of turning up minutes before practice, mumbling a few incoherent words, having a nice doze after lunch, and leaving with everyone else at the end of the day. Don't know how I would have managed it on top of all my other ( Read more... )

Everyone will be pleased to know that neither Davies nor I were shredded by piranhas on our trip up the Amazon. He nearly got crushed by a massive female anaconda whilst trying to prove a point about the power of the male wizarding gaze, but I reckoned Daphne might not have taken kindly to my coming back with his corpse. The skin doesn't look half ( Read more... )

I was going to post my thoughts about the match tomorrow, but who am I to deny the clamour of my public?

Anyone who thinks I'm not fucking ecstatic about our team winning the World Cup for England after a 160-year losing streak can piss off back to whatever hole they came from. There's no shame in our team wishing the match had gone on longer ( Read more... )

I reckon ten hours is just about the right length of time for a match. Sorts out the men from the boys, gives you a chance to see what a team is made of, clears out the mental cobwebs. Not a bad way to go into a World Cup Final. It's clear that England's team works as a team should, despite the problems with our seeker ( Read more... )

If Nash never gets on a broom again it won't be too soon. The bastard who signed him to the team should be barred for all time. And if that miserable fucking cunt idiot Bagman interferes with the game again I'll personally see that the goblins find the number to his secret vault. He does have one. And it's got to be full to bursting from an England ( Read more... )

Glad that everyone (save a few useless wanks) enjoyed themselves at the gala last Thursday. I appreciate all the credit that's been given me but really it was Padma who put the best parts of the evening together. Thank her if you're so inclined ( Read more... )

Just back from Curaçao. Decided to stay on after winning against Belize and sample the local birdlife there. Well worth the detour - not every day you get to shag a Mayan priestess after buying exotic potions ingredients from her uncle. (Milly, you'll want to pick these up before they come back to life ( Read more... )

Oi Roger - You've left some of your shopping here at my flat.

Pansy, did you find a small obsidian box after your party? I don't know what I've done with it and Milly will skin me alive if it doesn't turn up.

I had a right laugh this morning. If Bletchley is so passionately committed to Truth, Honesty, and Standing Up for One's Beliefs, one must wonder why he shrank from standing trial after the war. Someone who claims to 'despise those who are dishonest' would surely have welcomed the opportunity to set straight his family's activities during the ( Read more... )