The mask is slipping again. The 'everything is alright, but boring' mask is losing the hold in its elastic and is slipping. 

My name is Stuart. I have a mental illness ( Read more... )

It gets me everytime.

I wandered the city for most of my lunch hour. The morning coffee buzz had long since worn off.

My throat's still raw from the vomiting this morning. I felt a bit stuffy so I took some psuedoephedrine to balance out in the vain hopes it would get my voice right for the radio show. As soon as I'd woken from a restless sleep my ( Read more... )

Martyrdom is not self-love.

These words have lost their leaden nature. 
Tight, concise and sharp as they are.

I'm shedding skin
Not tears
Taking form and remaining functional
Strong
Together

Boundless

Happy

This cloud I'm on is self-propelled and requires no fuel. 
Not you. Just me.

I will float forever in this moment

Beautiful people surrounded by others that make us feel ugly ( Read more... )

"Codes, but not cryptic enough. I'll rework and rework until there is nothing left but meaningless, flowery eloquence. Maybe that is all I need. Eloquence to fill me up while ketosis eats me away from the inside out, making me hollow and brittle and cold, cold, cold."

- Not Me

So here we are. Words on screens like brushes past paper.

Thoughts allowed ( Read more... )

Things happen irrespective of your involvement within them. There are some things you cannot control. Do not be angered by them ( Read more... )

Getting away for the weekend. Disconnect. No phones. No reception anyway. No pens, no papers, no music.

Just Me. My head. My space. Me. Me. Me.

"All that's sacred" he drones "comes from youth"

Eyes pulled away from a microscope after hours of searching the stained slide for a cure to my disease.

The needle presents itself to me, the torniquet ( Read more... )

We find ourselves bound by ties that seem strange. Simultaneously cutting each other out at the knees, mutual homicide. Fraternal fatalities on the rocks of our words. Grotesque mirrors to stare into longingly. Cold streets to walk lonely upon. Brief moments of tenderness swapped out seamlessly for senseless suffering.

Perceived perpetually we ( Read more... )

The world stops briefly for a moment the rolls on smoothly.

Friday started with work and ended with bed. In between I sat sullenly and ate paella with friends, I took some enhancement and went dancing, by 2am everything had sunk back to cruising speed. Outside the police had cordoned off the area, someone had been hit by a car. When were finally ( Read more... )