This is my story, I am the wife.

Jan 29, 2008 10:43

F/22/CO ( Read more... )

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Comments 8

hoodwink January 30 2008, 05:07:40 UTC
Give up the husband who will soon be your ex. He sounds controlling and obviously has a lot of problems--the child porn just taps the surface of those problems. You have to think of the safety and well-being of your daughter, she should come first and if I were in your shoes, well I wouldn't trust him with her. and I wouldn't let him walk all over me any longer ( ... )

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hoodwink January 30 2008, 05:08:05 UTC
p.s. It also might be helpful to post this in datinandrelatin.

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coolrunning January 30 2008, 05:12:06 UTC
Sign the papers and move on. This guy had you scared shitless, not to mention was looking at CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. Who knows what he could do to your child! He is using you and manipulating you. My father was the same way with my mother and she stayed with him for 3 years after I was born before she had enough. He'd come home drunk, fool around on her, even pulled a gun on her, and when she'd try to leave him he'd beg and plead for her to stay and say he was going to kill himself if she didn't stay. Well eventually she didn't stay and he didn't kill himself (well, accidentally he did... drugs killed him last year ( ... )

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lovestyle January 30 2008, 05:50:03 UTC
A very good friend of mine was in a relationship like this for years. They were a lot younger and did not get married, but he had a LOT of emotional problems, disliked all of her friends because they took time away from her paying attention to him, and threatened suicide every time she started acting like she was going to leave him. She eventually split it off with him and blocked him out of her life- he now, despite having no artistic skills, followed her all the way to her animation school (which is hundreds of miles away from his home) and tried to come back into her life, claiming he had changed and would like to start over. She didn't have any of it. She basically told him that he hurt her too much, and that the two of them would be best if they stayed far away from each other and each others' friends.

I know the situations are VERY different, but they're similar enough that I thought I'd mention it- I agree with coolrunning- you know what the right choice is; I can tell by the way you're writing this. It IS the right choice- don't live in ( ... )

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ticktockman January 30 2008, 06:19:10 UTC
The husband/father is a classic example of abusive/controlling personality. My advice:

1. File for divorce. Follow through.

2. No more conversations with him. Use Caller ID and don't answer the phone if it is him calling (or if there is no number showing on the screen).

3. If he requests visitation, arrange for it only in a neutral location with a third person present.

4. Do not have anything to do with him at all - no conversations, no phone calls, no mail, no email.

5. Work with experienced people at a women's shelter to learn techniques to isolate yourself from him and the legal tools at your disposal.

Good luck!

*daha*

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ticktockman January 30 2008, 06:19:32 UTC
I meant to include this link: http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm

*daha*

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drucillavinyl January 31 2008, 17:35:08 UTC
Thank you guys so much. He just makes me feel like it is my duty to make things work with him. He is still calling and I have not been answering his calls. My daughter means the world to me and I WILL NOT put her in that position. The guilt trips he tries to put on me are unreal. So anyhow... thank you very much. If anyone has any more advice I would absolutely love to hear it. :D

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