You cannot expect your mother and sister to change their minds about your boyfriend anytime soon---if they ever will. A bad impression takes a LONG time to correct by years of visibly good behavior.
Young women commonly make the error of seeing their boyfriends' "potential" instead of who or what they actually are. I have no way to know what the case is with you and your boyfriend--but I think that you should simply agree to disagree with your sister and your mother. You are all adults, so as long as you pull your own weight financially at home, and are in no danger by continuing your relationship, they should mind their own business. You can help them with this by showing them understanding first. Tell them you understand that it will take them a long time to 'approve' or 'trust' your boyfriend, but that you will appreciate it if they respect the fact that you are an adult and will make your own decisions. Agree to disagree, but please keep your mind open because love fogs the vision, especially at your age.
Sometimes love is blind and others around you can see things you may not be able to see. At the same time, they are probably scared and worried for you--and they are just being protective. I think they are going a little overboard but that's their own fault, though it does make things difficult for you.
Are you still living at home? How old are you (on the info/rules page we do ask for ages to be posted in the entry)? You said you had to talk it over with his folks but what about your own? Your Mom? You may know what she'll say but if you live under her roof, are you going to show her some respect and talk to her?
Maybe your Mom should talk to his parents. Maybe then she'll get another angle on the situation.
You're not alone. I've been in your shoes to some extent and it's not easy. If your boyfriend wants to heal, I hope he is seeing his doctor about possible med options? or going to counseling?
I'm 19 yrs old, yeah I do still live at home even though I really wish I didn't but thats a different story.
I've tried numerous times to get my mother to talk to his parents, I talk to them quite regularly and they are completely wonderful people, probably some of the nicest people I have ever met. She refuses to talk to them and does not give me a reason why.
My bf is currently on medication yes, and his parents told me that since he got home he went back to the support group that he used to be a part of when he lived there.
Comments 4
Young women commonly make the error of seeing their boyfriends' "potential" instead of who or what they actually are. I have no way to know what the case is with you and your boyfriend--but I think that you should simply agree to disagree with your sister and your mother. You are all adults, so as long as you pull your own weight financially at home, and are in no danger by continuing your relationship, they should mind their own business. You can help them with this by showing them understanding first. Tell them you understand that it will take them a long time to 'approve' or 'trust' your boyfriend, but that you will appreciate it if they respect the fact that you are an adult and will make your own decisions. Agree to disagree, but please keep your mind open because love fogs the vision, especially at your age.
Good Luck!
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Sometimes love is blind and others around you can see things you may not be able to see. At the same time, they are probably scared and worried for you--and they are just being protective. I think they are going a little overboard but that's their own fault, though it does make things difficult for you.
Are you still living at home? How old are you (on the info/rules page we do ask for ages to be posted in the entry)? You said you had to talk it over with his folks but what about your own? Your Mom? You may know what she'll say but if you live under her roof, are you going to show her some respect and talk to her?
Maybe your Mom should talk to his parents. Maybe then she'll get another angle on the situation.
You're not alone. I've been in your shoes to some extent and it's not easy. If your boyfriend wants to heal, I hope he is seeing his doctor about possible med options? or going to counseling?
~Becky
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I've tried numerous times to get my mother to talk to his parents, I talk to them quite regularly and they are completely wonderful people, probably some of the nicest people I have ever met. She refuses to talk to them and does not give me a reason why.
My bf is currently on medication yes, and his parents told me that since he got home he went back to the support group that he used to be a part of when he lived there.
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